My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #965

In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #965 from the issue of October 27, 2025, we are looking at a skeleton and a man watching television. The skeleton is laughing. The man, who has a bowl of popcorn in his lap, speaks. My entry appears below. The drawing is by Lars Kenseth.

"Why shouldn't I achieve my potential as an x-ray tech?"

These captions wouldn't rest in peace:

"Wait! Aren't those your fibulas?"
"It's not a crypt. It's the East Wing."

November 9, 2025 Update:  The Finalists

November 15, 2025 Update:  I voted for the caption from Denver.

November 22, 2025 Update:  The Winner

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #890

It's date night in the cosmos and in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #890 from the issue of March 25, 2024. My caption is shown below. The drawing is by Lars Kenseth.

"I just can't get my arms around this relationship."

April 6, 2024 Update:  The Finalists

April 12, 2024 Update:  I voted for the caption from West Hartford.

April 27, 2024 Update:  The Winner

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #827

I took the uptown local to The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #827 from the issue of November 14, 2022. My caption is shown below. The drawing is by Lars Kenseth.

"Has anyone ever tried drawing on these walls?"

These captions couldn't beat the timetable:

"Say, I could use a good wingman."
"If you think you see something, you're supposed to say something."
"But where do you keep your MetroCard?"
"How do you aerate your junk?"

November 21, 2022 Update:  The Finalists

November 28, 2022 Update:  I voted for the caption from Greenville.

December 10, 2022 Update:  The Winner

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The CartoonStock Caption Contest #159

I haven't a clue about the CartoonStock Caption Contest #159. There's real money riding on this. Three entries cost $5. The cash prizes are $500 for first place and $100 for each of the five runners up. As of now, I've invested $25 in this contest, with no success whatsoever in the first four contests. The criminally-minded drawing is by Lars Kenseth.

"Maybe the killer didn't sneak in through the cat door."
"The thief must know how to stay under the radar."
"We're going to need a bigger jail."

Maybe I should have closed that first entry with "after all." These captions didn't follow proper police procedure and were not submitted:

"There goes my theory that the killer was a jockey."
"No wonder the thief couldn't find the miniatures."
"This guy is all thumbs."
"This really complicates the lineup."

October 25, 2022 Update:  The Winner

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #799

This week, I savored my entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #799 from the issue of April 18, 2022. My caption is shown below. The drawing is by Lars Kenseth.

"I was getting tired of catnip."

This caption just wasn't the right vintage.

"It has notes of catnip."

May 6, 2022 Update:  The Finalists

 

May 13, 2022 Update:  I may have forgotten to vote this time around. I probably would have gone with the caption from Phoenix.

 

May 21, 2022 Update:  The Winner

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The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #110

I'd like to propose a toast to the Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #110. I wasn't able to submit my three captions this week owing to last week's contest ending early and my going ahead with my submissions anyway under the wrong cartoon. The usual workarounds didn't help me this week. Ah, well. The drawing is by Lars Kenseth. These would have been my three entries had I not been blocked.

"Who'd have guessed he takes his whiskey neat."
"How does he drink all night without thumbs?"
"Just look at what fame has done to Babe."

January 28, 2021 Update:  The Winner

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The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #109

I found my inner child for the Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #109. The drawing is by Robert Leighton. My three captions are posted below but the contest ended prematurely and a new contest was already up at the time I entered, making for some more than usually unfunny juxtapositions. That's what I get for waiting till the last minute.

"Her Dad's going to repeat the year."
"On the internet, they call him a genius."
"He calls himself the new kid on the blocks."

January 20, 2021 Update:  The Winner

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The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #103

Cartoon Collections states that its Caption Contest #103 "shows a robot or mechanized person and a human who may be a doctor, researcher, or scientist. The human is speaking." Very well, but who uses the phrase "mechanized person?" Wouldn't that be a cyborg? That's my interpretation here. Nevertheless, robot or cyborg, I'm a little surprised at the earthy direction my three captions, shown below, took. The drawing is by Lars Kenseth.

"What services can you provide other than house cleaning?"
"Your human parts still need love."
"How is your sexual functioning and did you know there's been a recall?"

December 12, 2020 Update:  The Winner

Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives:

Lars Kenseth

Robots
  

The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest

The Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest

All the Collected Cartoon Caption Contests

Attempted Bloggery's Humanoid Index

 

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The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #96

I did not enter the Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #96 this week and, given my preliminary caption, I don't think anything was lost. The drawing of a pair of sheep cowboys is by Lars Kenseth.

"No, I don't think we look alike to them."

October 23, 2020 Update:  The Winner

Lars Kenseth's Captions:

https://more.cartooncollections.com/sheep-herding-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood/

Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives:

Lars Kenseth

Cowboys

  

The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest

The Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest

All the Collected Cartoon Caption Contests

Attempted Bloggery's Woolgathering Index

 

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #725

I always aim high with my entries in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest. Contest #725 for September 21, 2020 is the exception. The drawing is by Lars Kenseth.

"I'm not Walter. Are you sure you're wearing your contacts?"

September 29, 2020 Update:  The Finalists

October 5, 2020 Update:  The entry from Northampton is very good, commas and all. Kudos to the entry from Bethesda for being specific to the cherry. In the end, I voted with Ottawa because I thought that caption was the funniest.

October 12, 2020 Update:  The Winner

Note:  Last week in the Caption Contest, cartoonist Mick Stevens had a dinosaur stand in line at a book signing. My caption bit me in the asteroid. Should you bring Contest #724 along to the book fair or to the science fair?

 
Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives

Lars Kenseth

William Tell

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest

The Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest

The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest

All the Above Cartoon Caption Contests and More

Attempted Bloggery's On-Target Index

 

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The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #92

The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #92 comes with words of explanation that demonstrate editors can misread cartoons as well as the rest of us: "This week’s cartoon of a wizard waiting for an elevator comes from Lars Kenseth." Call me a stickler, but there are two figures here, not just a wizard, and they are inside an elevator, not waiting for it. The elevator is heading down and the wizard is carrying a box with his office belongings. My captions await you in the lobby.

"You'll never guess who's transphobic."
"This firm has lost its magic."
"My charms must have worn off."
"I forgot my wand. But I gained a stapler."

September 24, 2020 Update:  The Winner

Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives:

Lars Kenseth

Magic

  

The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest

The Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest

All the Collected Cartoon Caption Contests

Attempted Bloggery's Spellbound Index

 

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #713

Hop on board for my entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #713, dated June 15, 2020. The drawing is by Lars Kenseth. My caption is based on my daughter's idea.

"By all means run off and join the circus. Just find your own damn ride."

These captions didn't pass inspection:

"You know the rules. No agents."
"Sorry, no clown school dropouts."
"Sir, I'm afraid this isn't your Uber."

June 22, 2020 Update:  The Finalists

June 29, 2020 Update:  I voted with Paris.


July 13, 2020 Update:  The Winner

Note:  Last time around in the Caption Contest, cartoonist Mick Stevens showed us the moment when the dinosaurs' fate was sealed. My caption proved to be lacking in survival skills. It's the beginning of the end for the big guys at the office in Contest #712.


Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives

Lars Kenseth

Clowns

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest

The Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest

The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest

All the Above Cartoon Caption Contests and More

Attempted Bloggery's Socially-Distanced Index

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #632

Here is my arresting entry in the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #632 for September 24, 2018. The drawing is by Lars Kenseth.

"What makes you think Russia is behind this?"

These captions didn't follow police procedure:

"I'd swear I brought in only one suspect."
"All the witnesses are useless."
"We may never solve the K Through 5 Mystery."
"Every day we find more layers to this puzzle."
"If it were up to me I'd cuff them all."
"Don't you think I'd run their fingerprints if I could?"

October 1, 2018 Update:  The Finalists

October 8, 2018 Update: I voted for the second caption. As if you couldn't guess.


October 15, 2018 Update: Winning Caption

Note:  Last week cartoonist Ellis Rosen sat a pizza chef on a jet plane. My caption didn't rise to the occasion. Grab a slice and dig into Contest #631.

This is Lars Kenseth's first Caption Contest and his first appearance on this blog. Coincidence? I think not.

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