The CartoonStock Caption Contest No. 212

The CartoonStock Caption Contest number 212 brings us to the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve wear leaves and Adam still holds the fruit from the forbidden tree that resulted in their fall. The serpent is in the grass. God indicates a breakfast buffet and speaks. The cartoonist is David Ostow.

You've probably already heard that the monthly cash prize contest has somewhat new rules which I seem compelled to repeat: Five dollars will buy up to three entries as it always has, but now three additional dollars can be used to optionally purchase a fourth entry, and so on and so forth. Real cash prizes are fifty percent of the total prize pool (usually in the ballpark of $500, but increasing) for first place and ten percent of the prize pool (typically about $100, but also increasing) for each of five runners up. As of this writing, I've put $285 into the first fifty-sseven pay-to-play contests and this fifty-eighth challenge brings my total cash outlay up to $290. (So far I haven't purchased any of the new $3 entries, but I'm prepared to should I come up with anything promising.)

Anyway, having achieved runner-up status with three previous cash prize entries, I've collected $300 from CartoonStock, so I'm still nominally playing with the house's money, if just for the time being. Because the contest is no longer subsidized by the treasury of CartoonStock but instead by the entrance fees, the contest's odds might now be just a little less favorable—as there are more entries to compete with—or possibly more favorable if those additional $3 entries are being purchased in bulk by the caption-impaired. The prize pool for this contest was fairly impressive:

I was uninspired this go-round and I thought my captions were weak. My three entries are listed above the break:

"But it's from Zabar's."
"Dammit, I see you already ate."
"I do this every fall."
* * *
"Before you go to eternal damnation, have a little something."
"I can't seem to tempt you."
"And to think I got catering."
"The tree? Oh, you thought I was serious?"
"Didn't I warn you not to kill your appetite?"

The Judges Deliberate

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1013

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1013 began in the issue of November 9, 2026. The magazine's metadata describes this scene as "a man wearing a virtual reality (VR) headset speaking at a podium with microphones during a press conference." (I checked to make sure he wasn't wearing goggles.) The drawing is by Pia Guerra (artist) and Ian Boothby (writer). 

"I am totally prepared for tonight's debate."

An online typo in the contest number wasn't corrected all week.

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1012

In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1012 from the issue of November 2, 2026, we find ourselves at the ornate entrance to a large and perhaps somewhat decadent mouse hole flanked by two upright sculptural cats supporting a pediment. A mouse wearing a patterned bathrobe stands in the entryway and speaks to another mouse standing outside.The drawing is by Felipe Galindo but his signature is pure Feggo.

"How could you remember the password and forget the loungewear?"

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1011

In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1011 from the issue of October 26, 2026, we find ourselves in a restaurant where two men are seated at a table as the waiter who has just served them drinks walks by with an empty tray. The man with a carved pumpkin for a head points to his drink, which is hard liquor, and makes a remark. His companion holds a glass of wine and says nothing.The seasonal drawing is by Ellie Black.

"I have time for one more drink before I have to meet some kid named Linus."

November 8, 2026 Update:  The Finalists

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License Plate for a Blogger Who Doesn't Realize He's Slowing Down?

Asking for a friend . . .

"IM2QIC4U"
New York State license place

 

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1010

In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1010 from the issue of October 19, 2026, a married couple stand at a giant outdoor mailbox with the lid open and the flag raised for a pickup. They are at the end of the driveway looking into the mailbox at his or her mother, who they are sending off. She sits expectantly clutching her bag on a chair. The wife waves while the husband, his arms folded, speaks. The drawing is by Tom Chitty.

"I promised we'd send you home first class."

These captions were returned to sender:

"Call if you need extra postage."
"Remember, write as much as you want."
"Now this time don't go postal."
"You're going home by GrannyGram."

November 1, 2026 Update:  The Finalists

November 2, 2026 Update:  I voted for the caption from London. 

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Two Building Lots in New Mexico

I received this in my email today, October 18, 2026, from Auction Ninja. "Two Building Lots in New Mexico. Shipping only." Please provide a shipping quote.

"Shipping Only"

The website confirms the shipping arrangement. Send it!

"Shipping Only"

https://www.auctionninja.com/urbn-mrkt/sales/details/two-building-lots-in-new-mexico-157.html?utm_source=www.auctionninja.com&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=AuctionNinja_10-18-2026&pgfrm=daily

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for Fall 2026

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the Fall 2026 issue shows us a young man being served a hugely oversized meat sandwich by a waiter in a delicatessen. The customer is the speaker. The drawing is by cartoonist Benjamin Schwartz. My two submitted captions appear below. When there's so much food, one has to show some restraint.

"Dayenu."
"I distinctly said footlong."

Dayenu translates as "It would have been enough."

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The CartoonStock Caption Contest No. 211

The CartoonStock Caption Contest number 211 brings us to a restaurant table at which a couple is seated, surrounded by hellfire. The waiter, a devil, is taking the couple's order and it is he who speaks. The cartoonist is Isabella Bannerman.

The monthly cash prize contest has fairly new rules which I seem compelled to repeat until this cartoon's setting freezes over: Five dollars will buy up to three entries as it always has, but now three additional dollars can be used to optionally purchase a fourth entry, and so on and so forth. Real cash prizes are fifty percent of the total prize pool (usually in the ballpark of $500) for first place and ten percent of the prize pool (typically about $100) for each of five runners up. As of this writing, I've put $280 into the first fifty-six pay-to-play contests and this fifty-seventh challenge brings my total cash outlay up to $285. So far I haven't purchased any of the new $3 entries, but this month I'm starting to feel, shall we say, some temptation.

Anyway, having achieved runner-up status with three previous cash prize entries, I've collected $300 from CartoonStock, so I'm still nominally playing with the house's money, at least for the time being. Because the contest is no longer subsidized by the treasury of CartoonStock, the contest's odds might now be just a little less favorable, or possibly more favorable if the $3 entries are being purchased in bulk by the caption-impaired. The prize pool, as I prepared my captions in the 10:00 hour just before the deadline, was at the highest level so far:

Here then is another chance to save my captioning soul. My three entries are shown below, above the break:

"If you ask me, it's all to die for."
"Everything here is good—just not literally."
"We don't have wings."
* * *
"Don't ask for medium rare."
"May I suggest marshmallows on a stick."
"What would you be willing to sell for all eternity in exchange for table settings?"
"The appetizers alone are worth your eternal souls."
"Oh, I see what you mean. I should have said 'spicy.'"
"Everything comes with Fra Diavolo sauce."

October 17, 2026 Update:  The total prize pool for this contest confirms that I was one of the last to enter. It is the biggest prize pool to date.

November 1, 2026 Update:  The Winner

I'm happy to report that crowdsourcing ranked one of my captions eighth in the Top Ten, even though it appeared on not one of the judges's lists. It is discussed in the judging video at 28:20 where Trevor comes close to admiring it and Lawrence Wood dismisses it as an inferior pun.

The Judges Deliberate

Larry does mention it in his Caption Contest Commentary:

https://www.cartoonstock.com/blog/hells-kitchen-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood/

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1009

In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1009 from the issue of October 12, 2026, a man sits in an airplane cabin between two pandas while a flight attendant makes an announcement. The drawing is by Amanda Chung, who is new to this contest and new to the blog.

"We reserve the middle seat for emotional support humans."

October 25, 2026 Update:  The Finalists

October 26, 2026 Update:  I voted for the caption from Chicago. 

November 8, 2026 Update:  The Winner

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