In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1001 from the issue of August 10, 2026, four snails sit around a campfire at night. One holds a flashlight to his face and speaks. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Lynn Hsu.
"With horror I realized I had wandered into a convention of French chefs."
These captions were too scary even for me:
"His white whale was a blonde ale." "It was then that I realized I couldn't outrun the man with the saltshaker." "When I arrived in Margaritaville, my nemesis was searching for his lost shaker of salt."
We finally made it to The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1000! It is from the issue of August 3, 2026, two men look upon a stone in which many swords are buried nearly up to their hilts. The man holding a staff speaks. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Lars Kenseth.
In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #999 from the issue of July 27, 2026, a couple seated in their living room look up at a giant hole in the wall through which an elephant has just run out. The man speaks. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Tom Toro.
"Enough with the dad jokes."
I decided to stay away from the most obvious take:
In 1992, Éditions Denoël published Quelques artistes et gens de lettres by Jean-Jacques Sempé, himself a cartoon artist and a man of letters. I don't think this book was ever printed in an English language edition. A superb copy is offered for sale by the Paris bookseller Librairie Le Feu Folet [Will-o'-the-Wisp, if you will]. It is reportedly inscribed to one Roger Karenvent although I don't believe that is the actual surname Sempé wrote. Nevertheless, the original recipient, Roger K., whoever he was, received a very nice drawing in his book of an artist at work on a still life.
I went out Monday for a Restaurant Week dinner and I was very much in favor of a license plate I noticed along the way. Truthfully, I don't see how one could be against it. Nevertheless, isn't it wrong to end a car with a preposition?
On Sunday, a cement carrier named NACC New Yorker made its way up the East River accompanied by a tug boat. The ship flies under the Portuguese flag out of Madeira. Yes, the New Yorker.
It's late at night in Apartment 3K. Seventy years ago, the readers of Collier's were treated to a wonderful cartoon by a wonderful cartoonist: William Steig.
William Steig Orignal art Collier's, May 11, 1956
Evidently rejected by The New Yorker which would have had first crack at it, the drawing presents us with a couple uniquely suited to each other.
William Steig Framed, orignal art
Collier's, May 11, 1956
The framed original art was listed some two months ago by Honey & Wax Booksellers of Philadelphia and it remains available at the time of this posting.
William Steig AbeBooks listing accessed July 21, 2026
In the CartoonStock Caption Contest number 208, is set at one of those Mommy and Me swim lessons. The male child speaks. The cartoonist is Lindsey Budde. She is new to the contest and new to this blog.
The monthly cash prize contest has new rules: Five dollars will still buy up to three entries but now three additional dollars optionally can buy a fourth entry, and so forth and so on. Real cash prizes are fifty percent of the total prize pool (previously $500) for first place and ten percent of the prize pool (previously $100) for each of five runners up. As of this writing, I've put $265 into the first fifty-three pay-to-play contests and this fifty-fourth challenge brings my total cash outlay up to $270. Having achieved runner-up status with three previous cash prize entries, I've collected $300 from CartoonStock, so I'm still playing with the house's money, at least for the time being. Because the contest is no longer subsidized by cash from the vast coffers of CartoonStock, the contest's odds should now be just a little less favorable. The prize pool, as I prepared to enter two hours before the contest ended, was approaching the old thousand dollar level.
This contest is tricky. There are no real incongruities to reconcile here, just an everyday situation. For what it's worth, I'm not at all proud of my entries.
"Guess how I'm warming up the pool." "I'll let you look in my swim trunks for Nemo." "Great news! We'll be sharing a locker room."
The final prize pool tally:
August 9, 2026 Update: The Winner
The Judges Deliberate
This month, no one liked my entries. Neither did I.
In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #998 from the issue of July 20, 2026, a woman and a cat are out kayaking. The woman speaks. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Liza Donnelly.
"There must be a closer litter box."
August 2, 2026 Update: The Finalists
August 9, 2026 Update: I voted for the caption from North Arlington.
Moment magazine'sCartoon Caption Contest for the Summer 2026 double issue shows us God speaking to Moses at the top of Mount Sinai—I mean Rushmore. God, perched in a cloud, is the speaker.The drawing is by cartoonist Benjamin Schwartz. My captions appear below.
"That settles it. We should ban graven images." "See what I mean? What we need is better marketing." "At this altitude, on a clear day they can see forever." "Not My best work? This isn't My work at all." "At least they're an improvement over the golden calf." "Now lead the Israelites north by northwest."
