Attempted Bloggery: Blog Post No. 1400: New Goals for an Old Blogger

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Blog Post No. 1400: New Goals for an Old Blogger

If it's not clear to you just exactly where this blog is headed, you're not alone. I'm not certain what lies ahead either and I write this thing. Perhaps it might help if I were to clarify what some of my existing goals are for Attempted Bloggery and even to set some new ones. After publishing 1,400 blog posts over not quite four years, I'm cognizant that not enough people are reading what I write. I know that this material is not for everyone, but I do worry that many of those who might be interested aren't finding their way here. The benchmark I use to measure this is simply page views. As you may know, I met my well-publicized goal of reaching 500,000 page views for the blog by Beethoven's birthday (December 16) on that very day--just. Now I need a brand new goal regarding page views. I've decided to reach for the sun.

Goal: I am going to try to reach 1,000,000 page views by Bloomsday (June 16) 2016. If it took three and a half years to reach my first 500,000 page views, I see no reason to wait nearly so long for the second 500,000. A year and a half should do it. Status: With just 516 days left in which to achieve the remaining 483,000 page views, I have set my sights on averaging some 936 page views per day. This will require an immediate increase of my daily readership of at least 50%. I have no idea why I think this is achievable, but I like a challenge.

Attempted Bloggery's Page View Stats as of January 16, 2015

Here are some other challenges:

Goal: I understand perfectly well what it means to have 517,000 page views on my blog, but I have no idea what it means to have 5,000,000 views on Google+, one of the social media sites on which I promote the blog. Since I don't know what it means, I have no compunction about trying to reach 10,000,000 views rather quickly, let's say by Columbus Day 2015. Status: We'll just have to see now, won't we.

My Google+ Stats as of January 16, 2015

Goal: The other major social media site I use to promote the blog is Twitter. I figure my blog stats can't increase sufficiently to meet my readership goal unless my social media presence increases first. My goal here is to increase my followers from about 1,000 to 5,000 by New Year's Day 2016. Status: I'm going to need more than ten new followers every day. That shouldn't be a problem, right?

My Twitter Stats as of January 16, 2015

Goal: It has long been my desire to have Siri write my individual blog posts for me. I would prefer to retire from the daily grind of generating blog posts and instead to function in the background as a sort of blogging muse for Siri. Status: Apple's technology so far has failed to keep up with my blogging needs.

Goal: When I told New Yorker cartoon editor Bob Mankoff I had been a finalist in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest four times, he inscribed my copy of his memoir with the erroneous statement that I'd been a winner four times. Therefore, in order to spare him a lifetime of embarrassment over this little mistake, my goal now is actually to win the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest four times. Status: I've now won once and been selected a finalist six times.

Goal: The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest is an even more daunting challenge. I'll set a goal of making it to finalist status not because I have a chance, but because well, what's the point of entering so often without such a goal? Status: No way, José.

Goal: I suppose it's no secret that I'd like to see this blog cited in print, either in a book or even better in a college syllabus. Status: Nothing yet. This blog is online. How on earth would I ever know what's published in print?

Goal: To interview novelist Thomas Pynchon. Status: He hasn't asked me yet.

Note: Help me meet my new goals. Follow me on Twitter and on Google+.

I like nice round numbers! All the previous Attempted Bloggery centennial posts are right here for your counting pleasure: