Showing posts with label John Klossner. Show all posts
Showing posts with label John Klossner. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 10, 2023

The CartoonStock Caption Contest #162

It's time to disrupt the CartoonStock Caption Contest #162. To recap, here's how the new cash prize contest works: $5 buys three and only three entries. Real cash prizes are $500 for first place and $100 for each of the five runners up. As of this writing, I've invested $40 over eight contests and I managed to win $100 from one of these outings. So far the math is good for contestants and bad for CartoonStock. Few enough people enter that the odds are favorable even for an indifferent captioner like me. My three new entries are shown below at the top of the list; the lower captions were written by me but, on due consideration, withheld. The drawing of conference room chaos is by John Klossner.


"Were we expecting corporate raiders?"
"Ah! They've finally elected a Speaker."
"We've got to find a better doorman."
* * *
"Can I assume we'll be working through lunch again?"
"I tried to tell them you weren't in."
"Your three o'clock is early."
"They want to cash in their stock options."
"They're not here to negotiate."
"The union is getting militant."





January 22, 2023 Update:  The Winner
https://www.cartoonstock.com/caption-contest/winners



My doorman caption is first mentioned in the contest deliberations by Bob Mankoff during minute 18 and it is chosen as a runner up in minute 31.
Contest #162 Deliberations


Eight-time New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest winner Lawrence Wood had this to say about my entry in his Caption Contest Commentary:

https://www.cartoonstock.com/blog/viking-office-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood/


This is my second payout in the new cash prize contest. It's the twenty-first time Larry Wood cited a caption of mine in his commentary.




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Monday, March 15, 2021

My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #747

Try not to do a double take. What you're seeing is The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #747 dated March 15, 2021. My entry is below. The drawing is by John Klossner.

"I never should have sold the air rights."





These captions just didn't sit right:
"I never thought to ask about his orientation."
"Naturally, nude sunbathing is out."
"Neither of us are findable on Google Earth."
"You'd never guess we both belong to the Flat Earth Society."




March 22, 2021 Update:  The Finalists



April 3, 2021 Update:
  I voted for the clever caption from California. All right, San Francisco.


April 17, 2021 Update:  The Winner



 

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Monday, May 25, 2020

My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #711

Will my entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #711 for the issue of March 25, 2020 be scored as an error? The drawing is by John Klossner.

"I'm just watching baseball and being a couch potato."

These captions were foul balls.
"Sorry, we've got a home game."
"Could you call back after spring training?"
"It turns out a woman CAN coach."
"I root, root, root for the home team."
"Is our insurance all paid up?"



June 1, 2020 Update:  The Finalists




June 15, 2020 Update:
  I voted with the capital. I can't find my All-Star ballot.



June 22, 2020 Update:  The Winner



Note:
  In last week's Caption Contest, cartoonist Julia Suits gave us birdwatchers snooping on a bird singing the blues. My caption wasn't cool enough. Sing along with Contest #710.


Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #73

Don't let the plausible captions fool you: I did not enter the Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #73. The drawing is by John Klossner.
"We just don't believe in you."
"You could use some glitter."
"I'm afraid you're fake news."



May 13, 2020 Update:  The Winner



Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives:

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Monday, April 6, 2020

My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #704

My entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #704 for April 6, 2020 is, as usual, going down. The drawing is by John Klossner.
"Say, you must be our new neighbor."


These captions got off at the wrong floor:
"I hope you practice social distancing."
"We could use a third."
"Are you ready for live elevator music?"
"Take the next one. We're still rehearsing."
"You can rent us until halftime."
"The co-op board won't let us practice in the lobby."
"Oops. We left our sheet music upstairs."
"We also accept tips for not playing."
"Good man, no ear buds."



April 13, 2020 Update: 
 The Finalists


April 20, 2020 Update:  I voted with Irvington but I liked them all.


April 27, 2020 Update:
 The Winner



Note:  In last week's Caption Contest, cartoonist Jon Adams took us to a restaurant at feeding time. Remember restaurants? Make a reservation to dine in with Contest #703. Perhaps we can all go back to real restaurants by summer...



Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives

Wednesday, March 18, 2020

The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #67

This week I hope my entries in the Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #67 really clean up. The drawing is by John Klossner.

"I told you we could still have fun while social distancing."
"It's my turn to have the rubber ducky."
"Darling, could you run back to Manhattan for the bubble bath?"
"Do you still want to continue our trial separation?"





March 25, 2020 Update:  The Winner



Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives:
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Wednesday, January 8, 2020

The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #57

Pull up a couch and join the Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #57. My entries are below. The drawing is by John Klossner.
""I'm changing my policy on walk-ins."
"Freud never could scale up."
"I gather there were no breakthroughs this week."
"I agreed only to couples therapy."


These captions were too troubled to use:
"Who behaved independently this week?"
"Seriously, who has the appointment?"
"Tell me, how is the novel coming along?"



January 17, 2020 Update:  The Winner



Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives:


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Wednesday, December 4, 2019

The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #52

Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #52 ended at least eight minutes earlier than scheduled so my usual last-minute entry could not be submitted. This sort of thing happens more than one might think. The drawing is by John Klossner.
"Today's podcast is called 'My Best Friend, Part 427.'"




January 8, 2020 Update:  The Winner




Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives:


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Monday, July 15, 2019

My Entry in the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #669

Welcome to my entry in the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #669 for July 15, 2019.  There is a one-drink minimum. The drawing is by John Klossner.
"I see him doing stand-up three times a night and living with us."


These captions bombed:
"Remember it's 'Yes, and...'"
"That potty mouth is her new catch phrase."
"Isn't that cute? She's playing to a crowd of two."
"I'm off to get food, diapers, and an agent."
"Look! She's got us both eating out of the palm of her hand."
"Did you hear that? He called us 'ladies and germs!'"
"Look who owns the room!"




July 22, 2019 Update:  The Finalists



July 29, 2019 Update:  I did not vote this time and for once all the finalists are really good. Perhaps I'd give the edge to Pittsburgh for its brevity, but Regina really has some bite to it.


August 12, 2019 Update:  The Winner




Note:  Last time around, cartoonist Liza Donnelly brought a lovestruck dragon to the maiden's castle door. Fire up Contest #668.


Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives:


John Klossner

Parenting


The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest

The Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest

The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest

All the Above Cartoon Caption Contests and Even More

Attempted Bloggery's Age-Appropriate Index

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Monday, May 13, 2019

My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #662

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness my entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #662 for May 13, 2019. The drawing is by John Klossner.
"So that's why they booked Valhalla."



May 20, 2019 Update:  The Finalists


May 27, 2019 Update:
  I voted with Steve Everhart from Tyrone. Last week I voted with Faith Everhart from Tyrone. Husband and wife?



June 3, 2019 Update:
  The Winner



Note:  Last week cartoonist Victoria Roberts gave us the seven dwarfs on roller skates. Heigh ho, heigh ho, it's off to Contest #661 we go.



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Monday, July 30, 2018

My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #625

Take a few swings at my entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #625 for July 30, 2018. The drawing is by John Klossner.
"Real tigers don't have pinstripes."



These captions struck out:
"Heads up."
"Ever have one of those days when you just feel bonkers?"
"You'll need a bigger mask."
"Don't ask. It's a for a Geico commercial."
"Why are there no drawings on your dugout wall?"
"Do you want to connect with my ball club?"
"Just fine, thank you. And how do those pinstripes breathe?"



August 13, 2018 Update:  The Finalists

Each of these finalists had the catcher, not the caveman, doing the speaking.



August 20, 2018 Update:  I voted for the second caption. No way I'm going with artwork being two words.


August 27, 2018 Update:
  Winning Caption


Note:  Last week, cartoonist Farley Katz found romance six feet under. My caption needed to come up for some air. Spend eternity with Contest #624.

Then see those old blog posts of mine where John Klossner hit it out of the park.

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