Showing posts with label David Borchart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label David Borchart. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 20, 2024

The CartoonStock Cartoon Caption Contest No. 183

I'm afraid I had to make a deal with the devil in order to solve CartoonStock Caption Contest number 183. The infernal scene is set in a shopping center's parking lot. The King of the Underworld offers a crown on a pillow to a woman packing groceries into her car. Easy peasy, right?


The rules of the monthly cash prize contest have not changed (and neither has my description of them): Five dollars buys up to three entries. Real cash prizes are $500 for first place and $100 for each of five runners up. As of this writing, I've put $140 into the first twenty-eight pay-to-play contests and this twenty-ninth challenge brings my total cash outlay up to $145. Having achieved runner-up status with two previous entries, I've collected $200 from CartoonStock, so I'm still playing with the house's money, thank goodness. In fact, so few contestants enter that the odds may generally be considered favorable even for us less-gifted caption writers. My three entries are shown below, above the break. The cartoonist is David Borchart.

"I'm already enjoying the life of Satan's mistress."
"Not unless you install air conditioning."
"How would you feel about a church wedding?"
* * *
"Never mind all that. How's your wi-fi?"




September 1, 2024 Update:  The Winner



Lawrence Wood mentioned my church wedding caption in his commentary, something that hasn't happened in a while:
https://www.cartoonstock.com/blog/demons-in-the-parking-lot-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood/


It was the insightful Joel Mishon who selected and actually defended my caption (29:55), going so far as to call it his version of "Only if we bring them up Catholic."

The Judges Deliberate







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Monday, October 24, 2022

My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #824

Let's bungle in the jungle with The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #824 from the issue of October 24, 2022. My caption is shown below. The drawing is by David Borchart.

"Wild cat got your tongue?"







October 31, 2022 Update:  The Finalists





November 7, 2022 Update:
  I voted for the caption from Baltimore.



November 14, 2022 Update:  The Winner








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Wednesday, October 27, 2021

The CartoonStock Caption Contest #141

If over the course of two weeks I had trouble finding my way to the CartoonStock Caption Contest #141, I have no one but myself to blame. My three well-camouflaged captions are shown below. Unfortunately, when I went to submit them in the final hour of the fourteen-day contest, it became clear that the contest had prematurely ended and the next one had already begun. This is actually not the first time this has happened to me. It's what is known in the business as the price of procrastination. The excellent drawing is by David Borchart.

"Where on earth were you?"
"You never could blend in."
"Don't get lost in the crowd."


 


November 13, 2021 Update: The Winner






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Wednesday, September 8, 2021

The CartoonStock Caption Contest #138

Something funny is going on over at the Pearly Gates in the CartoonStock Caption Contest #138. My three entries may be seen below. The drawing is by David Borchart. The contest was extended an additional week after this posting, to my surprise.

"Why can't I be in front for just HALF of eternity?"
"Last name first?"
"It turns out they DO shoot horses."




September 28, 2021 Update:  Lawrence Wood, in his caption contest commentary, mentioned one of my entries. This is the thirteenth time he's done this.

https://www.cartoonstock.com/blog/horse-heaven-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood/



September 29, 2021 Update:  The Winner








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Wednesday, February 12, 2020

The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #62

Once again I did not enter the Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #62, but one can see from the preliminary captions I wrote that it probably wouldn't have mattered anyway. The drawing is by David Borchart.
"This blows."
"Well how else should I have interpreted 'something to wet our whistle?'"


February 19, 2020 Update:  The Winner



Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives:

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Wednesday, January 1, 2020

The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #56

Try not to stare at my entries in the Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #56. The drawing is by David Borchart.
"On the plus side, I'm never lonely."
"Oh, some herbal blend. Why?"
"You learn to change in the closet."
"It was a rescue."



January 9, 2020 Update:  The Winner




Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives:


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Wednesday, November 13, 2019

The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #49

A new three-caption limit is supposedly in place for the Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #49, although as I noted last week the rollout of this unnecessary restriction on contestant creativity was seriously botched at the outset. Just to subvert the restriction I entered four times, even though my fourth caption is nothing more than a shortened variant of my second. Last week I mentioned that I initially had trouble reading this image, and from that observation I found I already had my first caption. From there it was easy. The drawing is by David Borchart.

"Everyone else calls me unreadable."
"I just know I have a graphic novel in me."
"I cast a long-form shadow."
"I know I have a zine in me."



November 21, 2019 Update:  The Winner



Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives:



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Wednesday, November 6, 2019

The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #48

A vacuum cleaner sitting on the mantelpiece is the subject of the Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #48. The drawing is by Christopher Weyant.

"It's a house gift from Jeff Koons."
"It cleans up real nice."
"It's ironic that we kept it even though we fired our interior decorator."
"It's my wife's little reminder that I've done no housework since 1987."
"I knocked over the urn but we've kept Mom's ashes."
"If I do ever need it, I'll sure as hell know where to find it."
"I'm kind of a clean freak."


November 14, 2019 Update:  The Winner



Note:  Just why am I writing a caption about Jeff Koons? You know a joke simply isn't funny any more once you have to explain it. But since it was never funny anyway, I'll go ahead and show what I was trying to reference:
Jeff Koons on his Series "The New"



Just one week ago, seven-time New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest winner Lawrence Wood concluded his contest commentary writing, "Every week, I’m pleasantly surprised by the number of really strong entries we receive." So why on earth has Cartoon Collections decided that the number of entries going forward would be limited to only three? And why did they start running their counter during the last hours of the previous contest? I haven't thought about making an entry yet and this is what next week's contest already looks like on my computer:
Fortunately the image is one I have difficulty reading so I doubt it will be a loss if I don't enter.


Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives:



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Monday, October 21, 2019

My Entry in the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #682

Don't let go of my entry in the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #682 for the issue of October 21, 2019. The seasonal drawing is by David Borchart.
"You know I have separation anxiety!"



This caption had a dying fall:
"Quick, cover me!"



October 28 2019 Update:  The Finalists


November 4, 2019 Update:
  I voted with Harwich, but I think Madison's caption is closer to my own.



November 11, 2019 Update:  The Winner



Note:  Last week cartoonist Hartley Lin gave us a couple caught in a pincer movement. Claw into Contest #681.


Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives

Monday, July 29, 2019

My Entry in the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #671

I took a stab at an entry in the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #671 for July 29, 2019. The drawing is by David Borchart.

"They're nearly extinct, so I let them practice hunting."


These captions didn't survive the Ice Age:
"It's taken me years to train my backscratchers."
"You've got to try these backscratchers."
"Nice people. They're having me for dinner."
"After dinner they're going to draw me on the wall."



August 12, 2019 Update:  The Finalists



August 19, 2019 Update:  I voted with Chicago.


August 26, 2019 Update:
  The Winner





Note:  Last week cartoonist Brooke Bourgeois shared with us some new active wear for bicycling. My caption must have slipped out of gear. You might want to take off the training wheels for Contest #670.


Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives:


David Borchart


Cavemen

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest



The Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest

The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest



All the Above Cartoon Caption Contests and More

Attempted Bloggery's Prehistoric Index

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Saturday, April 20, 2019

Blog Post No. 2900: My Copies of The Ultimate Cartoon Book of Book Cartoons

There's a new cartoon anthology just out and it's a fine one. The Ultimate Cartoon Book of Book Cartoons (Princeton Architectural Press, 2019) is edited by cartoonist Bob Eckstein and was released early this month. While I couldn't say how truly "ultimate" it is going to prove to be, whether or not it is the final word on the subject it is already hands down the best cartoon collection about books. Every selection is a winner. The closest contending anthology would have to be The New Yorker Book of Literary Cartoons (2002) edited by Bob Mankoff—it appears one has to be named Bob to put together such a collection. There's even some understandable overlap in the cartoons that were chosen for both books. Readers of this blog will want to have both volumes in their libraries, of course, but those who can manage to snag only one today should by all means get the latest. And, while you're at it, you might try to have it signed.

It's a beautiful book: nicely made and a pleasure to hold. There is no dust jacket, which I consider a plus. I regard a dust wrapper the way I regard the human body: it's nice enough at first blush, but it's an awful lot of work to maintain over the long haul. 

I make it a practice here not to underestimate New Yorker cartoonists, but nevertheless Bob Eckstein continues to astonish me. He is not only a first rate cartoonist, his painting skills are outstanding, as amply demonstrated in Footnotes from the World's Greatest Bookstores (2016). I thought his History of the Snowman (2013) was doomed to remain ignobly out of print forever, yet last year he published an updated edition. He live-draws. He curated a gallery show. And now he edits his first cartoon collection. Have I mentioned that this is a really first-rate collection? Even the minutiae are handled refreshingly well. The book's index, for example, includes page numbers as well as brief capsule biographies of the artists. I don't think I've ever seen this done better anywhere.

It should be no surprise then that Bob Eckstein's even got the art of the book signing down, and I say that most assuredly without having attended one. On April 9 at Rizzoli Bookstore in New York he sat down with three other New Yorker cartoonist colleagues—Robert Leighton, Marisa Acocella, and Barbara Smallerfor a presentation followed by a signing.
Robert Leighton, Marisa Acocella, Bob Eckstein, Barbara Smaller
Rizzoli Bookstore
April 9, 2019

Photo by Tom Bloom
I was unable to attend, but I wanted to get a signed book from this event anyway. I contacted Rizzoli and was told there was no way to preorder a signed book. They advised me to call the morning after, however, and they would inform me what they had on hand from the signing. So that's exactly what I did.

I was delighted to learn that five cartoonists had signed the book. Five? I was expecting four. (It turns out that David Borchart and Nick Downes turned up at the event and signed the book too. They are scheduled to appear with Mr. Eckstein in Brooklyn on April 23 at WORD Bookstore.) That was good enough for me, even if the math didn't seem to come out quite right. So I ordered my copy sight unseen from Rizzoli:


Signed by Bob Eckstein (with snowman), Robert Leighton (with self-deprecation), Nick Downes, David Borchart, and Marisa Acocella (with a captivating pair of mascaraed eyes).

The only disappointments were that Barbara Smaller, who signed for guests at the event, did not remain to sign the bookstore's copies. Also, if the book can't be preordered, obviously it can't be personalized.

The following day, April 10, another signing was held by Bob Eckstein at Oblong Books in Rhinebeck, New York, with three different New Yorker cartoonists in attendance:  Liza Donnelly, Michael Maslin, and Danny Shanahan. Once again I was tragically unable to attend. In the case of Oblong Books, though, I was able to preorder a book online and even to have it personalized in my name. This was a key factor in having the signing turn out as well as it did. It didn't hurt at all that each of these  cartoonists know who I am after nearly eight years of my perpetrating this blog. Here then is my signed copy of the book from the Rhinebeck event, this time with the awesome back cover leading:

Signed on the title page by editor Bob Eckstein

Signed a second time and inscribed by Bob Eckstein
Signed and inscribed with drawings by Liza Donnelly, Danny Shanahan, and Michael Maslin



Note:  My thanks to Tom Bloom for photographing the Rizzoli event.

I see no reason my readers should have to go through life without their own signed copies of The Ultimate Cartoon Book of Book Cartoons. Signings are scheduled all over from April 23 through August 10, 2019, with more events likely to be added. Catch the latest information at BobEckstein.com.

Then if you happily find you are in possession of a signed copy of this book substantially different from the ones I have posted here, by all means send me an image and I'll very likely put it in a future blog post. I can do that, you know.

Today marks Nick Downes's first mention on this blog. I'll take the blame for waiting this long.

Well, if it were I who was a contributor in any way to a handsome new book, I wouldn't miss an opportunity to sign every copy I could. What could possibly keep me from signing at an event I was already attending? Well, a few things perhaps. I wouldn't want my signing to cause me to be late to a wedding, for example. Heck, I wouldn't even want to miss curtain time on Broadway if I had tickets. If I finally had my interview scheduled with Thomas Pynchon, I'd probably leave and go to that. And I certainly wouldn't want to be late for a new episode of "Whiskey Cavalier." Otherwise, though, I'd sign those books. Wild horses couldn't—well, you get the picture.



The Attempted Bloggery Centennial Posts
 💯

Blog Post No. 100
Blog Post No. 200:  A Shaggy Dog Story