Sunday, December 28, 2014

Ten Improbable News Headlines of 2015

So this guy comes up to me and says he has a little something for the blog. He shows me a list of headlines that will make the news in 2015. I take a quick look at it and say no way, this is utterly preposterous. No one can know what's going to happen next year, but even so, these headlines are outlandish, farfetched, hugely improbable. And why are so many of them about blogging? Still, the guy just stepped out of a DeLorean, so maybe he knows something. I'm not vouching for any of this, but if even one headline here should turn out to be true in 2015, who am I to keep it from my readers?

Here, then, are the ten headlines you are not likely to see in 2015:

Theaters in North Korea Show "The Interview"

As Print Readership Dwindles, New Strength Emerges in Blogging

After a Year, NYC Mayor Allows Snow Plows Back Into Neighborhoods That Did Not Vote for Him

Another Two-Hundred National Magazines to Add Cartoons, Citing Reader Demand

Health Insurance Companies Insist Doctors Alone Can Determine Medical Necessity

Universities Modernize Curricula to Require Intensive Blog Reading

Republicans Embrace Science Over Ideology as Best Means to Understand Global Climate Change

Wide Support Seen in Congress for a National Blogger Appreciation Day

Governor Christie's Motorcade Caught in Six Hour Traffic Snarl at Bridge

Obscure Blogger Wins New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest and MegaMillions Jackpot in Same Hectic Week


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