Wednesday, December 21, 2016

My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for November/December 2016

Just what is going on in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for November/December 2016? It is very clearly set in a high school guidance counsellor's office where a student's appearance is not precisely what one might expect. Many caption contest entrants took this aged student to be God. After all, Moment Magazine calls itself "North America’s premier Jewish magazine" and one God is the central feature of the religion. My first thought was: "The Big Lebowski." Once again, I just can't seem to play by the rules. All told, I submitted nine captions, or one for each Commandment—not counting the pesky one about graven images. The drawing is by Benjamin Schwartz.

"On the other hand, you could just—you know—abide."
"Drop out today and the school will name a lounge for you."
"It seems we lost your transcript in the Windows 98 upgrade."
"It isn't fair, but we're not bringing back Lyre Studies."
"You've outlived yet another registrar."
"Stop handing in your work on papyrus."
"For you, I wouldn't recommend any six-year programs."
"Where do you see yourself thirty years ago?"
"Nonconformity is overrated."

January 25, 2017 Update:  The Finalists
If you had asked me, I thought "Where do you see yourself thirty years ago?" was my funniest caption. It turns out I was wrong. That's why I don't judge caption contests for a living.

March 23, 2017 Update: Winning Caption

Note:  This blog now has quite a few cartoons by Benjamin Schwartz. Some of them may even be apocryphal.

Would you like to quote chapter and verse for every single cartoon caption contest I ever entered? Who wouldn't? You just need to click on that aqua link. Or perhaps you'd like to limit yourself simply to the Moment Magazine contests. Very well, have it your way.



  1. I was one of those entrants who went they God route. Just something about the scale of the figure. By the way, I liked the papyrus line.