My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for Summer 2026

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the Summer 2026 double issue shows us God speaking to Moses at the top of Mount Sinai—I mean Rushmore. God, perched in a cloud, is the speaker. The drawing is by cartoonist Benjamin Schwartz. My captions appear below.

"That settles it. We should ban graven images."
"See what I mean? What we need is better marketing."
"At this altitude, on a clear day they can see forever."
"Not My best work? This isn't My work at all."
"At least they're an improvement over the golden calf."
"Now lead the Israelites north by northwest."

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for Spring 2026

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the Spring 2026 issue shows a man reading from the Torah at a Jewish religious service. In place of the traditional pointer, he is using a foam finger. The drawing is by cartoonist and sports fan Benjamin Schwartz. The reader speaks. My captions appear below.

"I'll be quick. They need me at the game."
"I can't see a thing with these glasses."
"Do I look like some kind of silversmith?"
"I'm telling you I looked everywhere."
"It's probably in the back of some drawer."
"I brought a different one for each aliyah."

July 4, 2026 Update:  The Finalists

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for Winter 2026

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the Winter 2026 issue anticipates spring. One elderly, Orthodox man's shtreimel has a bird's nest up top and a younger man wearing a similar hat comments. According to the good folks at Wikipedia, a shtreimel "is a fur hat worn by some Ashkenazi Jewish men, mainly members of Hasidic Judaism, on Shabbat and Jewish holidays and other festive occasions." The drawing is by cartoonist Benjamin Schwartz, a keen observer of people, hats, and nature. My captions appear below.

"Shmuel, your shtreimel shows it to be shpring."
"Humane, yes, but it doesn't count as a mitzvah."
"Where can I get some feygl for MY shtreimel, Feivel?"
"We never use the hat check but if we do we leave a tip."

A mitzvah is a commandment, but commonly it's used to mean a good deed. Feygl, in Yiddish, are birds. No Orthodox man would ever check his hat. What was I thinking?

March 24, 2026 Update:  The Finalists

July 4, 2026 Update:  The Winner

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for November/December 2025

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the November/December 2025 issue shows angry townspeople carrying torches in pursuit of Dr. Frankenstein's monster. They are led by an Orthodox Jewish man holding a fully lit Chanukah menorah. This man addresses the monster. The drawing is by film buff and cartoonist Benjamin Schwartz. My captions appear below.

"Part of you will always be Jewish."
"They'll never get me to carry a tiki torch."
"But we always have the Frankensteins over for Chanukah."
"Apparently, neither one of us will replace them."
"The townsfolk do not like to lose at dreidel."
"Why do you think we call it the Festival of Lights?"
"Now turn around and act like you're part Maccabee!"

January 24, 2026 Update:  The Finalists

March 24, 2026 Update:  The Winner

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #966

In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #966 from the issue of November 3, 2025, we see a cheerleader on a psychotherapist's couch. She raises her pom poms and speaks. My entry appears below. The drawing is by Benjamin Schwartz.

"I was on top until they charged me with a pyramid scheme."

This caption was off-balance:

"I don't have anyone to cheer for."

November 15, 2025 Update:  The Finalists

November 22, 2025 Update:  I voted for the caption from Staten Island.

November 28, 2025 Update:  The Winner

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for Fall 2025

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the Fall 2025 issue shows a woman holding a dog who has a certain resemblance to an Orthodox Jewish man. The woman speaks to a man who is looking at the dog uncertainly. My entries are shown below. The drawing is by the pet-friendly cartoonist Benjamin Schwartz.

"Every year he studies Torah counts as seven."
"It took forever to find the right groomer."
"Actually, he was a Christmas gift."
"They were bred for davening."

November 15, 2025 Update:  The Finalists

January 24, 2026 Update:  The Winner

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for the Summer Double Issue 2025

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the Summer 2025 double issue shows two robots at home in a futuristic setting. One reads a copy of Moment magazine. The other speaks. My entries are shown below. The drawing is by that technological whiz, Benjamin Schwartz.

"The captions are so much funnier in binary."
"How close are we to peace in the Middle East?"
"What is their stand on bot mitzvahs?"
"It's because of readers like you that we're going to lose the tree."
"Jews and captioners open it from the right."

A particularly intriguing caption turned up among the entries:

September 14, 2025 Update:  The Finalists

November 15, 2025 Update:  The Winner

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for Spring 2025

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the Spring 2025 issue shows an elderly woman and man sitting on a park bench. The woman prepares to eat a sandwich. The man, oblivious, is feeding a bird. Cupid hovers above the woman, arrow drawn. The woman observes him and speaks. My six entries are shown below; I think the first is the best. The drawing is by that old-time romantic, Benjamin Schwartz.

"Matchmaker, matchmaker, just let me snack."
"What do you mean, a match for the ages?"
"I left my heart in Coney Island."

"I'll take my sandwich over your shidduch."
"Golda Meir always said you'd find me."
"You don't want to mess with this bubbie."

June 14, 2025 Update:  The Finalists

September 14, 2025 Update:  The Winner

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for January/February 2025

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the January/February 2025 issue shows two dogs out for a walk. One dog has a Jewish star hanging from its collar and the other dog speaks. My two entries are shown below. The drawing is by dog lover Benjamin Schwartz.

“You’re lucky. Mine just says I don’t have rabies.”

"Would you ever date a German shepherd?"

March 29, 2025 Update:  The Finalists

June 14, 2025 Update:  The Winner--but not for the Spring issue.

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #931

In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #931 from the issue of February 3, 2025, a pirate captain has lost his left hand but gained a whisk (instead of a hook). He addresses two of his crew. The drawing is by that scallywag Benjamin Schwartz.

"Don't aye-aye me. Just say 'Yes, chef.'"

These captions didn't follow the recipe:

"I thought it was for making whiskey."
"Can ye guess the secret of my frothy cream?"

February 22, 2025 Update:  The Finalists

March 1, 2025 Update:  I voted for the caption from Stratford-Upon-Avon. Of course.

March 8, 2025 Update:  The Winner

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My Entry in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for November/December 2024

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the November/December 2024 issue brings us to the seasonal activity of snow tubing, specifically with a tube that looks distinctly like a sesame bagel. My lone submission is shown below. The drawing is by Benjamin Schwartz, a sportsman for all seasons.

“Next time I’m taking the bialy.”

January 21, 2025 Update:  The Finalists

March 29, 2025 Update:  The Winner

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for Fall 2024

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the Fall 2024 issue brings us to the day of the emotional college dropoff. The parents are leaving their son with a menorah. My submissions are shown below. The drawing is by former college boy Benjamin Schwartz.

"Guess what we found in the bookstore?"
"It's always been a babe magnet and you're living proof."
"Just set it in any window that's bulletproof."
"It might come in handy in these dark times."

December 7, 2024 Update:  The Finalists

January 21, 2025 Update:  The Winner

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #909

Would you like some fries with The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #909 from the issue of August 19, 2024? My caption is shown below. The drawing is by Benjamin Schwartz.

"Better make it a double. I've been supersized."

I believe the good doctor has hidden a private message in the cartoon. It's a little scratchy but I think it says Nina.

September 1, 2024 Update:  The Finalists

September 7, 2024 Update:  I voted for the caption from Springfield.

September 14, 2024 Update:  The Winner

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for Summer 2024

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the Summer 2024 double issue brings together the old and the new generations in a backyard swimming pool setting. My fourteen captions—I'm not known for my self control—are shown below. The drawing is by Benjamin Schwartz, a mensch.

"They're from Ancestry.com."
"The shtetl claims you owe back taxes."
"They just made it here from Anatevka."
"Do we have any kopeks?"
"I found your birth parents."
"You're gonna need a bigger float."
"Can they stay until Tashlich?"
"It's finally happened—our past has caught up with us."
"So how do you like their canned slivovitz?"
"You're not impressing them with our suffering."
"They assert a rightful claim to your grandmother's samovar."
"Forget the barbecue. We'll all have boiled chicken."
"They need our help assimilating."
"Why do they keep chanting l'dor vador?"

October 19, 2024 Update:  The Finalists

December 7, 2024 Update:  The Winner

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for Spring 2024

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the Spring 2024 issue depicts an obese pharaoh of ancient Egypt visiting the doctor's office. My four captions are shown below, the last being a rewrite of the first. I think the third is the best. The drawing is by Benjamin Schwartz.

“You’ll have to fix your food pyramid.”
"Spend more time walking like an Egyptian."
"I never thought YOU would overindulge in matzo."
"Rebuild that food pyramid."

August 3, 2024 Update:  The Finalists

October 19, 2024 Update:  The Winner

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #894

A couple of clowns take in the art gallery scene in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #894 from the issue of April 22 & 29, 2024. My caption is shown below. The drawing is by Benjamin Schwartz.

"He's no Emmett Kelly."

May 12, 2024 Update:  The Finalists

May 15, 2024 Update:  I voted for the caption from Camarillo.

May 25, 2024 Update:  The Winner

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for Winter 2024

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the Winter 2024 issue depicts a figure skater who has just carved a star of David into the ice. My captions are shown below. The drawing is by Benjamin Schwartz. 

"Well, I give you a 10."
"It's very nice, but let's see you daven."
"No way that was a triple Axel."
"There's not a chance of making Google Earth."
"Now let's drive away with the Zamboni."

May 18, 2024 Update:  The Finalists

August 3, 2024 Update:  The Winner (which I voted for)

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