My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for Summer 2026

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the Summer 2026 double issue shows us God speaking to Moses at the top of Mount Sinai—I mean Rushmore. God, perched in a cloud, is the speaker. The drawing is by cartoonist Benjamin Schwartz. My captions appear below.

"That settles it. We should ban graven images."
"See what I mean? What we need is better marketing."
"At this altitude, on a clear day they can see forever."
"Not My best work? This isn't My work at all."
"At least they're an improvement over the golden calf."
"Now lead the Israelites north by northwest."

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for Spring 2026

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the Spring 2026 issue shows a man reading from the Torah at a Jewish religious service. In place of the traditional pointer, he is using a foam finger. The drawing is by cartoonist and sports fan Benjamin Schwartz. The reader speaks. My captions appear below.

"I'll be quick. They need me at the game."
"I can't see a thing with these glasses."
"Do I look like some kind of silversmith?"
"I'm telling you I looked everywhere."
"It's probably in the back of some drawer."
"I brought a different one for each aliyah."

July 4, 2026 Update:  The Finalists

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for Winter 2026

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the Winter 2026 issue anticipates spring. One elderly, Orthodox man's shtreimel has a bird's nest up top and a younger man wearing a similar hat comments. According to the good folks at Wikipedia, a shtreimel "is a fur hat worn by some Ashkenazi Jewish men, mainly members of Hasidic Judaism, on Shabbat and Jewish holidays and other festive occasions." The drawing is by cartoonist Benjamin Schwartz, a keen observer of people, hats, and nature. My captions appear below.

"Shmuel, your shtreimel shows it to be shpring."
"Humane, yes, but it doesn't count as a mitzvah."
"Where can I get some feygl for MY shtreimel, Feivel?"
"We never use the hat check but if we do we leave a tip."

A mitzvah is a commandment, but commonly it's used to mean a good deed. Feygl, in Yiddish, are birds. No Orthodox man would ever check his hat. What was I thinking?

March 24, 2026 Update:  The Finalists

July 4, 2026 Update:  The Winner

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for November/December 2025

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the November/December 2025 issue shows angry townspeople carrying torches in pursuit of Dr. Frankenstein's monster. They are led by an Orthodox Jewish man holding a fully lit Chanukah menorah. This man addresses the monster. The drawing is by film buff and cartoonist Benjamin Schwartz. My captions appear below.

"Part of you will always be Jewish."
"They'll never get me to carry a tiki torch."
"But we always have the Frankensteins over for Chanukah."
"Apparently, neither one of us will replace them."
"The townsfolk do not like to lose at dreidel."
"Why do you think we call it the Festival of Lights?"
"Now turn around and act like you're part Maccabee!"

January 24, 2026 Update:  The Finalists

March 24, 2026 Update:  The Winner

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for Fall 2025

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the Fall 2025 issue shows a woman holding a dog who has a certain resemblance to an Orthodox Jewish man. The woman speaks to a man who is looking at the dog uncertainly. My entries are shown below. The drawing is by the pet-friendly cartoonist Benjamin Schwartz.

"Every year he studies Torah counts as seven."
"It took forever to find the right groomer."
"Actually, he was a Christmas gift."
"They were bred for davening."

November 15, 2025 Update:  The Finalists

January 24, 2026 Update:  The Winner

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for the Summer Double Issue 2025

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the Summer 2025 double issue shows two robots at home in a futuristic setting. One reads a copy of Moment magazine. The other speaks. My entries are shown below. The drawing is by that technological whiz, Benjamin Schwartz.

"The captions are so much funnier in binary."
"How close are we to peace in the Middle East?"
"What is their stand on bot mitzvahs?"
"It's because of readers like you that we're going to lose the tree."
"Jews and captioners open it from the right."

A particularly intriguing caption turned up among the entries:

September 14, 2025 Update:  The Finalists

November 15, 2025 Update:  The Winner

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for Spring 2025

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the Spring 2025 issue shows an elderly woman and man sitting on a park bench. The woman prepares to eat a sandwich. The man, oblivious, is feeding a bird. Cupid hovers above the woman, arrow drawn. The woman observes him and speaks. My six entries are shown below; I think the first is the best. The drawing is by that old-time romantic, Benjamin Schwartz.

"Matchmaker, matchmaker, just let me snack."
"What do you mean, a match for the ages?"
"I left my heart in Coney Island."

"I'll take my sandwich over your shidduch."
"Golda Meir always said you'd find me."
"You don't want to mess with this bubbie."

June 14, 2025 Update:  The Finalists

September 14, 2025 Update:  The Winner

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for January/February 2025

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the January/February 2025 issue shows two dogs out for a walk. One dog has a Jewish star hanging from its collar and the other dog speaks. My two entries are shown below. The drawing is by dog lover Benjamin Schwartz.

“You’re lucky. Mine just says I don’t have rabies.”

"Would you ever date a German shepherd?"

March 29, 2025 Update:  The Finalists

June 14, 2025 Update:  The Winner--but not for the Spring issue.

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My Entry in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for November/December 2024

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the November/December 2024 issue brings us to the seasonal activity of snow tubing, specifically with a tube that looks distinctly like a sesame bagel. My lone submission is shown below. The drawing is by Benjamin Schwartz, a sportsman for all seasons.

“Next time I’m taking the bialy.”

January 21, 2025 Update:  The Finalists

March 29, 2025 Update:  The Winner

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for Fall 2024

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the Fall 2024 issue brings us to the day of the emotional college dropoff. The parents are leaving their son with a menorah. My submissions are shown below. The drawing is by former college boy Benjamin Schwartz.

"Guess what we found in the bookstore?"
"It's always been a babe magnet and you're living proof."
"Just set it in any window that's bulletproof."
"It might come in handy in these dark times."

December 7, 2024 Update:  The Finalists

January 21, 2025 Update:  The Winner

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for Summer 2024

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the Summer 2024 double issue brings together the old and the new generations in a backyard swimming pool setting. My fourteen captions—I'm not known for my self control—are shown below. The drawing is by Benjamin Schwartz, a mensch.

"They're from Ancestry.com."
"The shtetl claims you owe back taxes."
"They just made it here from Anatevka."
"Do we have any kopeks?"
"I found your birth parents."
"You're gonna need a bigger float."
"Can they stay until Tashlich?"
"It's finally happened—our past has caught up with us."
"So how do you like their canned slivovitz?"
"You're not impressing them with our suffering."
"They assert a rightful claim to your grandmother's samovar."
"Forget the barbecue. We'll all have boiled chicken."
"They need our help assimilating."
"Why do they keep chanting l'dor vador?"

October 19, 2024 Update:  The Finalists

December 7, 2024 Update:  The Winner

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for November/December 2020

Moment magazine's cartoon caption contest for November/December covers festive meals at both Thanksgiving and...a bagel brunch. I submitted two captions this time around. If I said they were my best efforts, it would at best be half correct. The drawing is by Benjamin Schwartz.

"Sorry, we don't have any mayo."

“You needn’t worry. They’ve given up raiding and now call themselves the Washington Football Team.”

January 5, 2021 Update:  The Finalists

April 18, 2021 Update:  The Winner

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for Summer 2020

Darwin's Theory of Evolution meets the world of Jewish humor in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for Summer 2020. I submitted three entries, but I would probably have been fine with just the second one. The drawing is by Benjamin Schwartz.

"First things first, my boy. Let's put on tefillin."
"It's all about survival of the Yiddish."
"Look who skipped the diaspora!"

October 25, 2020 Update:  The Finalists

November 12, 2020 Update:  The Winner

Note:  Last year's Moment magazine profile of some of the Caption Contest contestants may be read here.

Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives:

Benjamin Schwartz

Evolution

The Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest

The Cartoon Collections Cartoon Caption Contest

All These Caption Contests and More

The Descent of Attempted Bloggery's Index

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for November/December 2019

Moment magazine's latest Cartoon Caption Contest for November/December 2019 closed on November 30 just after Thanksgiving. This time around it's a holiday cartoon we are asked to caption, although precisely which holiday is anybody's guess. One thing we do know is that a little Jewish humor doesn't hurt in this contest. As always, there is no limit to the number of entries here; I could only come up with seven. Eight would have taken a miracle. The drawing by Benjamin Schwartz is very nice though I expect it will get mixed reviews.

"It's not a miracle. I borrowed one of your elves."
"I need to find the Little Match Girl."
"Do you need a ride to the Kwanzaa party?"
"Rudolph has the flu."
"Those reindeer games we wouldn't let Rudolph play? Dreidl."
"Check it twice. It's a hanukkiah."
"There's something Mrs. Claus wants you to know."

December 31, 2019 Update:  The Finalists

February 28, 2020 Update:  The Winner

Note:  Last year's Moment profile of some of the Caption Contest contestants may be read here.

Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives:

Benjamin Schwartz

Santa Claus

The Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest

The Cartoon Collections Cartoon Caption Contest

All These Caption Contests and More

Attempted Bloggery's Jolly Index

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for September/October 2019

How many caption contest entries are too many? Whatever the number, I've clearly achieved it in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for September/October 2019. Fortunately, there's no earthly limit to the number of entries permitted. The unsigned graven image is by Benjamin Schwartz.

"What in Creation is that?"
"I'll take the Impossible Burger."
"Go back to the old caterer."
"I could use the Halo Top."
"How do you like Manna 2.0?"
"Give me your lunch and earn your other wing."
"Here we just don't say 'better than sex.'"
"You're hiding something in that bag. Is there a cheeseburger in paradise?"
"Like WHOSE mother used to make?"
"This reminds me of one of those Moment cartoons by what's-his-name."
"Are you sure the K isn't for KFC?"
"They may be kosher but I think wings are in poor taste."
"Even up here we have ground rules."
"Would it kill them to serve kasha?"
"Okay, but I'm not adding any Golden Arches."
"This you call Shabbat dinner?"
"I love Mexican food, but what I said was I could use some nachas.”
“I’m afraid this calls for a whole new set of Commandments.”
“Well, no one needs to ask your cause of death.”
“I distinctly said to hold the mayo.”
“Five-thousand years of dieting down the drain.”
“With this meal, I can’t get no satisfaction. Get off of My cloud.”
"Would you like some skies with that?"

November 10, 2019 Update:  The Finalists

December 31, 2019 Update:  The Winner

Note:  Last year's Moment profile of some of the Caption Contest contestants may be read here.

Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives:

Benjamin Schwartz

Angels

The Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest

The Cartoon Collections Cartoon Caption Contest

All These Caption Contests and More

Attempted Bloggery's Heavenly Index

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My Copy of Have I Got a Cartoon for You!

On Sunday, October 6, in Washington, DC, there was a signing event for Have I Got a Cartoon for You!: The Moment Magazine Book of Jewish Cartoons edited by Bob Mankoff and just recently published. It seemed like a good idea to order a signed and personalized copy and forego the trip to the Capital. It wasn't cheap:  the full $19.95 published price for a slim paperback—just 86 cartoons, no discount—plus $7.25 for shipping, a Priority Mail price for shipping via media mail. I requested that Bob Mankoff personalize the copy to me and I have an email receipt that confirms this; you can see for yourself just how well that went.

https://www.politics-prose.com/event/book/bob-mankoff-have-i-got-cartoon-you-moment-magazine-book-of-jewish-cartoons

Bob Mankoff's signature

Moment magazine, by the way, does not publish freestanding cartoons. Rather, the cartoons in this book are licensed through Mr. Mankoff's Cartoon Collections venture and the collection is published under the MomentBooks imprint. Moment does have a caption contest, though, and one of Benjamin Schwartz's cartoons from the November/December 2015 contest does in fact appear here. The caption is not a finalist from the contest and may very well be Mr. Schwartz's own.

"I forgot my wig."

Reader, would you care to know who won that long-ago caption contest? I'll give you a hint: It's the person to whom this copy of the book is not personalized.

Note:  You can revisit the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for November/December 2015 here.

Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives:

Bob Mankoff

Benjamin Schwartz 

Signed Books

Dana Fradon (1922-2019)

Attempted Bloggery's Furshlugginer Index

  

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Views of Arizona: Verklempt Bag

Found at R&R Surplus in the Phoenician resort:

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for May/June 2018

Let's run my entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for May/June 2018 up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes. The drawing is by Benjamin Schwartz.

"And YOU thought they would choose the dollar sign!"
"Word is Jared and Ivanka still have some pull."
"So do you still take off your cap for the national anthem?"
"So now it goes, 'Oy, say can you see...?'"
"Sheldon Adelson paid you HOW MUCH?"
"Why do you suppose it isn't trending?"
"Tell me what you dreamed and I'll tell you what it meant."
"Jew-S-A! Jew-S-A!"
"I know you're a proud American, Zeke. Is there something else you want to tell me?"

July 12, 2018 Update:  The Finalists

September 17, 2018 Update:  Winning Caption

Glossary of Jewish Humor:  Aliyah is the act of moving to the Land of Israel, or "going up."

You may vote for your favorite caption here. The deadline is August 20, 2018. While you're on the site, consider entering the current contest yourself. It rocks.

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