My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #972

In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #972 from the issue of December 15, 2025, two Godzillas are seated in a theater watching a Godzilla movie. The one on the right speaks. My entry appears below. The drawing is by Lonnie Millsap.

"How dare they call Tokyo the victim?"

These captions were poorly reviewed:

"I thought it was going to be a rom-com."
"It's a Spike-y joint."
"This is too intense. I'm going for popcorn."
"The camera adds ten tons."

January 10, 2026 Update:  The Finalists

January 17, 2026 Update:  I voted for the caption from Mineral Point.

January 24, 2026 Update:  The Winner

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #957

In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #957 from the issue of August 25, 2025, we find ourselves in hamburger heaven. My entry appears below. The drawing is by Lonnie Millsap.

"They say the burgers are to die for."

September 13, 2025 Update:  The Finalists

September 15, 2025 Update:  I voted for the caption from Edina.

September 22, 2025 Update:  The Winner

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #946

I entered the first caption I thought of in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #946 from the issue of June 2, 2025. I could have tried to work through it all week, but I didn't think I would do any better. In the cartoon, a dog demonstrates a scientific formula to two labworkers. The mathematical conclusion is a bone. The female lab worker comments. My entry appears below. The drawing is by Lonnie Millsap.

"We should check his math."

June 14, 2025 Update:  The Finalists

June 21, 2025 Update:  I voted for the caption from Roseland.

June 23, 2025 Update:  The Winner

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #932

In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #932 from the issue of February 10, 2025, two zebras are observed by a lion crouching in the grass. One zebra speaks. The drawing is by Lonnie Millsap.

"I'll go get help. You look for a snake in the grass."

March 1, 2025 Update:  The Finalists

March 8, 2025 Update:  I voted for the caption from Corona.

March 16, 2025 Update:  The Winner

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #922

In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #922 from the issue of November 18, 2024, an attic full of rats is looking through a hole in the floor at the couple below. My submission is shown here. The drawing is by Lonnie Millsap.

"I never realized we had an infestation."

December 1, 2024 Update:  The Finalists

December 7, 2024 Update:  I voted for the caption from Houston.

December 9, 2024 Update:  The Winner

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #912

I hope you kept your appointment with The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #912 from the issue of September 9, 2024. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Lonnie Millsap.

"Stay back. He's only got one."

These captions were not board eligible:

"I don't like the looks of this."
"Let's call for backup."
"Sir, they don't teach us about proverbs."
"I hope you're not going to eat that."
"No going out for more."
"I see your problem. That apple's made of wax."

September 22, 2024 Update:  The Finalists

September 29, 2024 Update:  I used my clinical judgment and voted for the caption from Ann Arbor.

October 5, 2024 Update:  The Winner

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #896

The fast food is supersized in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #896 from the issue of May 13, 2024. My caption is shown below. The drawing is by Lonnie Millsap.

"The special is all-you-can-eat egg salad."

May 25, 2024 Update:  The Finalists

June 2, 2024 Update:  I voted for the caption from Pasadena.

June 9, 2024 Update:  The Winner

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #884

Mr. Peanut shows an apartment to a large elephant in silhouette in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #884 from the issue of February 5, 2024. My caption is shown below. The drawing is by Lonnie Millsap.

"The house rules say no stomping late at night and absolutely no peanut shells."

This caption didn't move me:

"Most of your sort have moved upstate."

February 23, 2024 Update:  The Finalists

March 2, 2024 Update:  I voted for the caption from Austin.

March 9, 2024 Update:  The Winner

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #856

Pop goes the corn in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #856 from the issue of July 3, 2023. My caption is shown below. The corny drawing is by Lonnie Millsap.

"All right. Climate change may have a kernel of truth."

These captions didn't pop:

"Hint all you want—I am not going to pop the question."
"Oh, what a relief it is."
"Again, there's nothing premature about it."
"Well, one of us has got to be missing something."

July 22, 2023 Update:  The Finalists

July 24, 2023 Update:  I voted for the caption that didn't come from Ann Arbor.

August 6, 2023 Update:  The Winner

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #846

There's something sinister about that dog in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #846 from the issue of April 17, 2023. My caption is shown below. The drawing is by Lonnie Millsap.

"I think he wants more than a chew toy."

These captions were disobedient:

"Better still, what possessed US to bring him home?"
"I have a new theory about what became of all our possessions."

May 1, 2023 Update:  The Finalists

May 12, 2023 Update:  I voted for the caption from Shelburne.

May 15, 2023 Update:  The Winner

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #829

I needed some direction for The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #829 from the issue of November 28, 2022. My classy caption is shown below. The drawing is by Lonnie Millsap.

"Everywhere you look, there's porn."

These captions were just too rigid:

"As if we can't read..."
"Oh, good. We can go back to slithering."
"They're becoming more inclusive."
"You can thank universal access."

December 10, 2022 Update:  The Finalists

December 12, 2022 Update:  For my vote, I went with the caption from Austin.

 

January 1, 2023 Update:  The Winner

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #810

I had my ups and downs with The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #810 from the issue of July 11 & 18, 2022. My caption is shown below. It's hard to believe I had two weeks to work on this. The drawing is by Lonnie Millsap.

"It's a jungle in here."

These captions just weighed me down:

"Be careful what you say. He never forgets."
"I hope you won't feel suffocated by the elevator music."
"Guess my latest crush."
"Mind the gap."

July 25, 2022 Update:  The Finalists

August 2, 2022 Update:  I voted for the caption from Burke.

August 8, 2022 Update:  The Winner

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #796

This week, my entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #796 from the issue of March 28, 2022 came right back up the ball return. My caption is shown below. The drawing is by Lonnie Millsap.

"But the sale is only once a year."

These captions couldn't stay out of the gutter:

"May I borrow some pins."
"We should have stayed in our lane."
"This still doesn't feel like a lovers' lane."
"Let's start when the downstairs neighbors go to sleep?"
"Maybe we should have read the rules."
"Or we could try collecting stamps."

April 10, 2022 Update:  The Finalists

April 17, 2022 Update:  I voted for the caption from Fredericksburg.

April 18, 2022 Update:  The Winner

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #791

This week I had to sleep in the doghouse while puzzling over The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #791 from the issue of February 14 & 21, 2022. My entry is shown below. The drawing is by Lonnie Millsap.

"It kind of grows on you."

With these captions I tried a little too doggedly:

"You'll grow into it."

"Come in. There's plenty of room."
"Sure it costs more, but we got a great deal on the mortgage."
"Wait till you see the finished attic."
"Next time, bring your stilts."
"There's no excuse for slouching."

March 6, 2022 Update:  The Finalists

March 7, 2022 Update:  I vote for the caption from Mount Horeb.

 

March 14, 2022 Update:  The Winner

 

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