Wednesday, April 1, 2015

My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for January/February 2015

Well, now I've done it. Having used this very public platform to endorse New Yorker cartoon editor Bob Mankoff for President--admittedly a long shot but nevertheless an excellent choice--the Federal Election Commission prohibits me from entering any more of his caption contests. It's something about a conflict of interest. Here then are my final entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for January/February 2015. Multiple entries are permitted in this contest. The cartoon, as always, is by New Yorker cartoon editor Bob Mankoff.

"I give up. Where is the air nozzle?"
"Bring me something heavy."
"This is Diplomacy.  Strong-Arm Tactics is down the hall."
"It's time for my annual physical. Would you mind being me?"
"Two questions:  How did you get past security and how did you get through my doorway?"
"And what brings you here? Use small words."
"That reminds me--have you seen my iPad?"
"And I can make an actuary out of you in just seven days."
"That's odd.  I didn't request a bouncer."
"Just this once, act like a mensch."
"Fetch me the Board of Directors."
"Make the Cartoon Caption Contest judge
an offer he can't refuse."

My favorite of these is the Diplomacy caption. Now let's see if Mr. Mankoff thinks any of these are worthy. Announcing the finalists:
Moment Cartoon Caption Contest Finalists for January/February 2015

Well, I think this may be the first time he and I agreed on my best caption. That's a sure sign he's getting better at this game and needs to move on to new challenges. For those keeping tabs at home, I now have made it to finalist status in eight of ten Moment contests I entered, but in only one of the nine completed contests was I voted a winner. That was supposed to earn me a free gift subscription to Moment, but we'll let that pass. The more serious issue is that I've reached finalist status in seven completed contests and won only one of these. By the law of averages, I should be winning one in three. The take-home message is don't take me with you to Las Vegas.

May 9, 2015 Update:  Winning Caption
Moment Cartoon Caption Contest Winning Caption for January/February 2015

My second win! Now my town can hold its head up high.

Note:  The previous Moment contest was the usual Greek tragedy. I had a promising caption make it to finalist status, but no farther. See the sorry outcome of the November/December contest.

Now it's your turn to change the course of caption history. You may vote for your favorite caption in the January/February contest until on or about April 10. After that, who knows what happens? Why not enter the March/April contest yourself. I'm grounded till at least the 2016 election, and at least four years beyond that if Bob Mankoff wins. Of course, he's been a bit coy about whether he's running...

By now my legion of readers must be familiar with how Bob Mankoff erred in inscribing my personal copy of his bestselling memoir. Yet his mistake is 25% less serious than it was initially. Will time heal all boo-boos?

Cartoon caption contests have been the lifeblood of this blog for going on two years. All that is at an end now, but we can still wallow in the archives.

As cartoon editor of the New Yorker, Bob Mankoff's name comes up a good deal here on the blog. Now he's been endorsed by me for the American Presidency. Isn't it time we had a cartoonist in the nation's highest office? Don't all shout at once.


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