My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #960

In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #960 from the issue of September 22, 2025, a standing woman—The New Yorker's metadata refers to her as "Human mother with hands on hips"—calls up to an egg (let's call him Humpty Dumpty) scaling a high wall. My entry appears below. The drawing is by Julia Suits.

"Get up there or you'll miss all the king's horses."

These captions were too hard-boiled:

"Why can't you just sit in a chair?"
"Mother Goose isn't going to like this."
"Get down here as fast as you can."
"Last one down is a rotten egg."

October 4, 2025 Update:  The Finalists

October 6, 2025 Update:  I voted for the caption from Oak View.

October 18, 2025 Update:  The Winner

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The CartoonStock Cartoon Caption Contest No. 181

It's time for another round of the CartoonStock Caption Contest. In contest number 181, two identically-dressed eggs stand at the base of Humpty Dumpty's wall. One of them is injured from, apparently, a great fall and it is he who speaks.

The rules of the monthly cash prize contest have not changed (and neither has my description of them): five dollars buys up to three entries. Real cash prizes are $500 for first place and $100 for each of five runners up. As of this writing, I've put $130 into the first twenty-six pay-to-play contests and this twenty-seventh challenge brings my total cash outlay up to $135. Having achieved runner-up status with two previous entries, I've collected $200 from CartoonStock, so I'm still playing with the house's money, thank goodness. In fact, so few contestants enter that the odds are generally favorable even for us less-gifted caption writers. My three hard-boiled entries are shown below. The cartoonist is Mick Stevens.

"Don't tell Mother Goose it was rough sex."
"Apparently I insulted all the king's horses."
"Now will you properly dispose of all banana peels?"

July 7, 2024 Update:  The Winner

The Judges Deliberate

Video added June 29, 2024

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #715

Crack up over my entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #715 for June 29, 2020. The drawing is by Mort Gerberg.

"Just one. I can't afford any more great falls."

These captions weren't palatable:

"Do you have anything that can do what all the king's men couldn't?"
"For heaven's sake, no more pick-me-ups."
"Something to put me together again."

July 13, 2020 Update:  The Finalists

July 20, 2020 Update:  The finalists were each very good this week. I voted with Brooklyn.


July 27, 2020 Update:  The Winner

Note:  Last week in the Caption Contest, cartoonist P. C. Vey showed us a couple playing a game of beach ball in the pool with a cat. Play along with Contest #714.

Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives

Mort Gerberg

Bars

Eggs

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest

The Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest

The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest

All the Above Cartoon Caption Contests and More

Attempted Bloggery's Scrambled Index

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