My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #982

In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #982 from the issue of March 16, 2026, a couple walks through a snowy city teeming with penguins. The woman speaks. My submission is below. The drawing is by Meredith Southard.

"I know I could make sense of this with the help of Morgan Freeman."

I felt these captions weren't playful enough:

"Remember when we brought home the first two in our luggage?"
"Spring can't come soon enough."
"I really thought they would bring in more tourists."
"At least they're an improvement over the pigeon."
"Remember when the neighborhood was colorful?"

March 24, 2026 Update:  The Finalists

April 2, 2026 Update:  I voted for the caption from Davis.

April 12, 2026 Update:  The Winner

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The CartoonStock Cartoon Caption Contest No. 196

In the CartoonStock Caption Contest number 196, a pirate captain offers some words to the new guy. The experienced pirates have eye patches, hooks, and at least one pegleg. Argh!

The rules of the monthly cash prize contest have not changed (and neither has my description of them): Five dollars buys up to three entries. Real cash prizes are $500 for first place and $100 for each of five runners up. As of this writing, I've put $205 into the first forty-one pay-to-play contests and this forty-second challenge brings my total cash outlay up to $210. Having achieved runner-up status with three previous entries, thank you, I've collected $300 from CartoonStock, so I'm very much playing with the house's money. In fact, so few contestants enter that the odds may generally be considered favorable even for us less-gifted caption writers. My three entries this round are shown below, above the break. The cartoonist is Meredith Southard.

"Can you lend the crew a hand?"
"Welcome to the Jolly Hobbler."
"We need someone who can handle a corkscrew."
* * *
"Bring the spirit of schadenfreude."
"Are you prone to accidents?"
"We don't tolerate ableism."
"I don't tolerate atheists or ableists."
"Your station is the crow's nest."
"Fetch the lad the lucky binoculars."
"I no longer allow banana peels on deck."
"Otherwise, this is a happy ship."

August 28, 2025 Update:  The Winner

The Judges Deliberate

Video added August 24, 2025

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #943

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #943 appeared in the issue of May 5, 2025. Three cats in contemporary dress are seen in a showroom with dilapidated furniture. A sales-cat wearing a tie shows a beat up couch to a couple. My entry appears below. The drawing is by Meredith Southard.

"Our furniture was tested by a panel of experts."

This caption didn't purr:

"Everything here is up to scratch."

May 25, 2025 Update:  The Finalists

May 26, 2026 Update:  I voted for the caption from Hollywood. Hooray for Hollywood!

June 7, 2025 Update:  The Winner

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #903

X marks the spot in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #903 from the issue of July 1, 2024. My caption is shown below, but I failed to enter the contest before the deadline. The drawing is by Meredith Southard.

"Well, if it isn't your mother's storage locker and your father."

July 15, 2024 Update:  The Finalists

July 27, 2024 Update:  I voted for the caption from Twin Falls.

August 3, 2024 Update:  The Winner

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #864

A well-meaning gazelle helps to prepare a nervous colleague for a speech to be given before an auditorium full of lions. This is not the veldt but The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #864 from the issue of September 4, 2023. My caption is shown below. The drawing is by Meredith Southard.

"See if you can put them to sleep."

These captions were easy meat:

"They're used to plain speaking."
"You may want to speed read."
"Try to run through it quickly."

September 17, 2023 Update:  The Finalists

 

September 24, 2023 Update:  I voted for the caption from Mount Horeb.

September 30, 2023 Update:  The Winner

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The CartoonStock Caption Contest #152

Once again, we had a full four weeks to come up with entries for the CartoonStock Caption Contest #152. How did I spend all that time? It's hard to say. I started working on my entries fifteen minutes before the deadline, and I probably submitted the third and final caption too late. The drawing, a good one, is by Meredith Southard.

"Who's afraid of Bruno Bettelheim?"
"I used to be a huntswoman."
"If you don't like the story, rewrite the ending."

May 28, 2022 Update:  In his Caption Contest Commentary, Lawrence Wood mentions my third caption, so it wasn't submitted too late after all! This is the seventeenth time the esteemed captioner has mentioned one of my entries, so that averages to about one shout out for every nine caption contests.

https://www.cartoonstock.com/blog/grandma-and-the-wolf-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood/

The Winner:

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #782

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #782, from the issue of November 29, 2021, left me speechless. My caption is shown below. The drawing is by Meredith Southard.

"Look, it's dumb and dumber."

The following rejected captions will have to remain muted:

"This is dumb on so many levels."
"I'll just suffer in silence."
"Tip them extra to go away."
"I was hoping maybe for the Naked Cowboy."

December 11, 2021 Update:  The Finalists

December 18, 2021 Update:  I went with the caption from Waukesha.

January 1, 2022 Update:  The Winner

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