The CartoonStock Cartoon Caption Contest No. 196

In the CartoonStock Caption Contest number 196, a pirate captain offers some words to the new guy. The experienced pirates have eye patches, hooks, and at least one pegleg. Argh!

The rules of the monthly cash prize contest have not changed (and neither has my description of them): Five dollars buys up to three entries. Real cash prizes are $500 for first place and $100 for each of five runners up. As of this writing, I've put $205 into the first forty-one pay-to-play contests and this forty-second challenge brings my total cash outlay up to $210. Having achieved runner-up status with three previous entries, thank you, I've collected $300 from CartoonStock, so I'm very much playing with the house's money. In fact, so few contestants enter that the odds may generally be considered favorable even for us less-gifted caption writers. My three entries this round are shown below, above the break. The cartoonist is Meredith Southard.

"Can you lend the crew a hand?"
"Welcome to the Jolly Hobbler."
"We need someone who can handle a corkscrew."
* * *
"Bring the spirit of schadenfreude."
"Are you prone to accidents?"
"We don't tolerate ableism."
"I don't tolerate atheists or ableists."
"Your station is the crow's nest."
"Fetch the lad the lucky binoculars."
"I no longer allow banana peels on deck."
"Otherwise, this is a happy ship."

August 28, 2025 Update:  The Winner

The Judges Deliberate

Video added August 24, 2025

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