My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #958

In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #958 from the issue of September 1 & 8, 2025, we observe a support group for traffic cones. One cone reaches out to a sad cone next to it and speaks. My entry appears below. The drawing is by Juan Astasio.

"You mustn't take flouters personally."

The following captions were unenforceable:

"We've all been called worse than a witch's hat."
"Maybe orange just isn't your color."

September 15, 2025 Update:  The Finalists

September 22, 2025 Update:  I voted for the caption from Yorkshire.

October 4, 2025 Update:  The Winner

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #859

Eureka! If you can't read the writing on the wall, try the blackboard in The New Yorker  Cartoon Caption Contest #859 from the issue of July 31, 2023. My caption is shown below. The drawing is by Juan Astasio.

"What were we looking for again?"

These captions didn't compute:

"It's so obvious!"
"How could we have missed it?"
"You were right. It's the null set."
"I forgot to factor in our combined weight."
"I forgot to carry the one."
"It IS rocket science."
"I can't sort this out. Let's call them non-human biologics."

 

August 7, 2023 Update:  The Finalists

August 18, 2023 Update:  I voted for the caption from Boston, the bottom one.

August 21, 2023 Update:  The Winner 

Colin Mills is the son of Carol Lasky.

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The CartoonStock Cartoon Caption Contest No. 165

The alien invasion is underway in the CartoonStock Caption Contest #165. Let's go over how this monthly cash prize contest works: Five bucks buys up to three entries and that's it. Real cash prizes are $500 for first place and $100 for each of five runners up. As of this writing, I've spent—pardon me, invested—$50 over the first ten contests and this one makes it $55. I somehow managed to win $200 along the way but as more talented caption writers enter, I don't expect to keep doing this well. My three new entries are shown below, above the break. The full-color drawing of a small-scale invasion is by Juan Astasio.

"We may need to rethink the full-scale attack."
"No, I said they were small-MINDED."
"Everything looks so much bigger with these visors."
* * *
"We need to rethink tonight's menu."
"What do you say we abduct a shoe?"
"Save the death rays for our scouting party."
"Think about how we can scale this up."

July 4, 2023 Update:  The Winners

The judges deliberate:

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