In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #957 from the issue of August 25, 2025, we find ourselves in hamburger heaven. My entry appears below. The drawing is by Lonnie Millsap.
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| "They say the burgers are to die for." |
September 13, 2025 Update: The Finalists
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The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #936 appeared in the issue of March 17, 2025. Two angels are greeted by two aliens. The puzzled male angel speaks. The drawing is by Daniel Kanhai.
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| "We were so wrong in our theology." |
March 29, 2025 Update: The Finalists
April 6, 2025 Update: I voted for the caption from Reston.
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You can almost hear the heavenly harp music emanating from The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #910 from the issue of August 26, 2024, along with one very distant thud. My caption is shown below. The angelic drawing is by Sofia Warren.
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| "Have you been swearing again?" |
These captions just wouldn't float:
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| "I knew that church organ was a bad idea." "Butterfingers." "I told you not practicing might lead to some fallout." "And that's why we don't play 'Ring Around the Rosie.'" |
September 7, 2024 Update: The Finalists
September 14, 2024 Update: I voted for the caption from Maplewood.
September 22, 2024 Update: The Winner
04729
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| "While I'm gone, replace all the Hallelujahs with Cowabungas." "Zeus was never this cool." "Cue the theme to 'Hawaii Five-O' on harps." "Go write a psalm in praise of gnarly waves." "Here's a hint: It isn't the Commandments I'll be hanging ten of." There's no limit to the number of submissions permitted, but I still couldn't justify entering these:  "Noah wasn't any more fun than you two." "No one remembers I created awesomeness." "Stay behind if you like, but this will all be Instagrammable." |
October 7, 2022 Update: The Finalists
November 12, 2022 Update: The Winner
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Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for Spring 2021 takes us to a board meeting in heaven. Angels are seated around the table. God is the speaker. Unlimited entries are permitted here, but I held the line at eleven, not wishing to put too many words into the Lord's mouth. The drawing is by Benjamin Schwarz.
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| "There's been some grumbling that the board has too many dead white men." "All right, who's got My halo?" "Say, what if this year we turned a little profit?" "I see. Does anyone wish to second the motion to dispense with the reading of the Commandments?" "Everyone else in the cloud is making a bundle." "The readers of Moment are having a good laugh at our expense." "Then it's agreed: no graven images except for cartoons." "This is not the place to exercise your free will." "How is it that Satan gets all the best lawyers?" "If you're all so good, why is half our mail addressed to someone named Clarence?" "But why aren't we on the cover of Moment?" |
June 19, 2021 Update: The Finalists
October 24, 2021 Update: The Winner
03602
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| "What holier-than-thou attitude?" "We seem to get another one every time a bell rings." "You must be looking for Cloud 9. This is Cloud 18." "It's ring toss day." "At breakfast, no one takes only one pancake. |
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| "There's a sort of funny story about your life support." "Not the moon. Two more guesses." "The good news is you're very much alive. The bad news is you're way off course." |
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| "Here comes Mr. High and Mighty." "Did you know they have a vice squad?" "I guess I was expecting something more." "Hey! Why don't we get any ambrosia?" "These vices are no fun without sex." |
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| James Thurber Marriages Are Made in Heaven |
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| James Thurber Marriages Are Made in Heaven |
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| James Thurber's signature |
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| James Thurber eBay Listing accessed November 13, 2017 |
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| James Thurber eBay item description |
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| James Thurber Marriages Are Made in Heaven |
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| James Thurber Marriages Are Made in Heaven |
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| James Thurber Marriages Are Made in Heaven |
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| James Thurber Marriages Are Made in Heaven |
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| James Thurber Marriages Are Made in Heaven eBay listing accessed February 27, 2021 |
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| James Thurber Marriages Are Made in Heaven eBay item description |
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| James Thurber Apple Tree Auction Center September 7, 2017 |
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| ames Thurber Apple Tree Auction Center item description |
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| EBay Listing Ended January 6, 2015 |
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| EBay Item Description |
