My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for Summer 2026

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the Summer 2026 double issue shows us God speaking to Moses at the top of Mount Sinai—I mean Rushmore. God, perched in a cloud, is the speaker. The drawing is by cartoonist Benjamin Schwartz. My captions appear below.

"That settles it. We should ban graven images."
"See what I mean? What we need is better marketing."
"At this altitude, on a clear day they can see forever."
"Not My best work? This isn't My work at all."
"At least they're an improvement over the golden calf."
"Now lead the Israelites north by northwest."

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God Creating Autumn: Edward Sorel Preliminary New Yorker Cover Art

God Creating Autumn may have been Edward Sorel's original title for what would become The New Yorker's cover of October 13, 1997. This name is being used by London's Chris Beetles Gallery in its listing of the preliminary art, Sorel's satirical take on Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam relocated to the leaf-changing season in New England. The angels have been transformed into tourists with their cameras loaded, no doubt, with color film. Beetles has been offering this one for ten years. It is priced at 1,750 pounds sterling.

Edward Sorel

Chris Beetles listing accessed October 8, 2025

https://www.chrisbeetles.com/artwork/2607/god-creating-autumn

The changes that were made for the final cover are meant, I think, to serve the narrative flow. Sorel flipped the composition around, moving away from Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel masterpiece while somehow keeping the familiar Creation imagery. The New Yorker gave the cover the understated title Fall Colors but the art is anything but understated. As we tend to read pictures from left to right and from top to bottom, we can now methodically make our way, following God's finger and Sorel's pen, down to the divine blaze of autumn glory.

Edward Sorel
Fall Colors
The New Yorker, October 13, 1997

https://archives.newyorker.com/newyorker/1997-10-13/flipbook/CV1/

In sum, here is the full chronology:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Creation_of_Adam#/media/File:Michelangelo_-_Creation_of_Adam_(cropped).jpg

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #839

It looks like The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #839 from the issue of February 27, 2022, in the side pocket. My caption is shown below. The drawing is by Felipe Galindo, known throughout the universe as Feggo.

"Who took away Pluto?"

March 12, 2023 Update:  The Finalists

March 13, 2023 Update:  How could I not vote for the Pluto caption?

March 26, 2023 Update:  The Winner

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for Summer 2022

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for the Summer 2022 issue shows us God addressing two angels while heading off carrying a surfboard. My captions are shown below. The drawing is by Benjamin Schwartz.

"While I'm gone, replace all the Hallelujahs with Cowabungas."
"Zeus was never this cool."
"Cue the theme to 'Hawaii Five-O' on harps."
"Go write a psalm in praise of gnarly waves."
"Here's a hint: It isn't the Commandments I'll be hanging ten of."

There's no limit to the number of submissions permitted, but I still couldn't justify entering these:

"Noah wasn't any more fun than you two."
"No one remembers I created awesomeness."
"Stay behind if you like, but this will all be Instagrammable."

October 7, 2022 Update:  The Finalists

November 12, 2022 Update:  The Winner

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for Summer 2021

God wearing a Speedo and shades? Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for Summer 2021 takes us away to a divine day at the beach. A diminutive angel appears before God, who is sunbathing with a book. My twenty-four entries are shown below. The relaxed drawing is by Benjamin Schwartz.

"If you know I'm everywhere, why do you come HERE?"
"You know I'm omnipresent, yet you always seek Me here."
"Are you big enough to fetch a nice cold Dr. Brown's?"
"Of course I can recommend a good book."
"What have they done to themselves this time?"
"You know perfectly well what I do on the seventh day."
"Just some light reading until the new Moment comes out."
"It's lonely at the top. Let's keep it that way."
"Lots of folks down here are reading Lucifer."
"You can't just come here every time you forget the wi-fi password."
"The wiser angels call it a chaise longue."
"You're blocking."
"Then why am I paying for your harp lessons?"
"This is why I created New Jersey."
"Ah, you're here to judge the swimsuit competition."
"Then you'll just have to cancel that interview with Moment."
"Go ahead, guess how many grains of sand."
"Shouldn't you be somewhere dancing on the head of a pin?"
"And don't come back without Dylan tickets."
"Your agent misled you. I'm not looking for new Psalms."
"I'd like a bagel of biblical proportions."
"A drachma for your thoughts?"
"You misunderstood. I never said bialys were unholy."
"If there were a multiverse, I'd know a lot more about it than Marvel."

October 15, 2021 Update:  The Finalists

I voted for the caption from Thousand Oaks.

November 21, 2021 Update:  The Winner

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for Spring 2021

Moment magazine's Cartoon Caption Contest for Spring 2021 takes us to a board meeting in heaven. Angels are seated around the table. God is the speaker. Unlimited entries are permitted here, but I held the line at eleven, not wishing to put too many words into the Lord's mouth. The drawing is by  Benjamin Schwarz.

"There's been some grumbling that the board has too many dead white men."
"All right, who's got My halo?"
"Say, what if this year we turned a little profit?"
"I see. Does anyone wish to second the motion to dispense with the reading of the Commandments?"
"Everyone else in the cloud is making a bundle."
"The readers of Moment are having a good laugh at our expense."
"Then it's agreed:  no graven images except for cartoons."
"This is not the place to exercise your free will."
"How is it that Satan gets all the best lawyers?"
"If you're all so good, why is half our mail addressed to someone named Clarence?"
"But why aren't we on the cover of Moment?"

June 19, 2021 Update:  The Finalists

October 24, 2021 Update:  The Winner

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My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for September/October 2020

I submitted no fewer than fifteen entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for September/October 2020. I'd like to think that's one for every floor in the building with the elevator drawn by Benjamin Schwartz.

“I don’t require your praise for the elevator music.”

“I can’t fly you home. You’re thinking of Willy Wonka.”

“I’m feeling creative today.”

“The power to heal the cosmos. And what do you have in yours?”

“It’s a common mistake. Father Time always wears an Apple Watch.”

“Sorry, but I never interfere in caption contests.”

“Behold! Now shall I part the doors as once I parted the Red Sea.”

“Do you think you deserve to be carried up or given the shaft?”

“Well, I say it’s all right to wear white after Labor Day.”

“I’m generally benevolent, but sometimes I let loose and press every button.”

"Look, being all-seeing and all-knowing has its ups and downs.”

“Even if I already am everywhere, I still enjoy the ride.”

“No, not Santa Claus. Guess again.”

“You have free will. Pick a floor yourself.”

“I pressed all the buttons because I have to be everywhere.”

November 12, 2020 Update:  The Finalists

January 5, 2021 Update:  The Winner

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