In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1008 from the issue of October 5, 2026, Mr. Met stands in a sports bar and discusses the baseball postseason with a fan. The drawing is by Paul Noth.
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| "All this hitting has ruined the game." |
This caption I'm saving for Old Timers' Day:
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| "Big deal. Where were they in 1969?" |
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In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1007 from the issue of September 28, 2026, a pig sits on stage singing and playing guitar with an audience that is a pack of wolves. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Kate Isenberg.
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| "Have we all taken our Ozempic?" |
These captions were a little off-key:
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| "Dinner is now being served out in the lobby." "My next song is about becoming a vegan." "This next song was requested by the deer in the back." "My next number is 'The Song That Doesn't End.'" |
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In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1006 from the issue of September 21, 2026, a psychotherapist is talking to his patient as Godzilla appears at the office window. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Meredith Southard.
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| "Why do you always see yourself as the victim?" |
These captions didn't make the final cut:
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| "What sort of film keeps you awake at night?" "The thousand dollars an hour includes special effects." |
October 4, 2026 Update: The Finalists
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In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1005 from the issue of September 14, 2026, a couple who just got married has stopped to fill up the tank. The groom has just finished pumping gas. The pump indicates a price of $65.29. The woman angrily holds up a credit cared and speaks. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Brooke Bourgeois.
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| "I can't exactly keep it where yours would be if you hadn't left it home." |
None of these captions were exactly a match made in heaven:
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| "You never told me we'd be running on empty." "Now you tell me you're a credit risk?" "Hasn't Daddy paid for enough?" "What happened to the 'for richer' part?" |
September 27, 2026 Update: The Finalists
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In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1004 from the issue of September 7, 2026, a woman carries drinks to a seated man while her dog brings him a chessboard set up for play. The woman speaks. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Mort Gerberg.
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| "I should warn you he doesn't like sore losers." |
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| "He plays for $100 a game. Here, have a drink." "Oh, no. He just likes to fetch the pieces." |
September 19, 2026 Update: The Finalists
September 27, 2026 Update: I voted for the caption from Tokyo.
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In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1003 from the issue of August 24 & 31, 2026, a couple at a black tie event observe a popsicle who is attending as well, drink in hand, melting. The man speaks. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Elisabeth McNair.
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| "He could at least wear a towel." |
These captions ended up all over the place:
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| "He can't handle the social pressure." "Would it kill him to wear pants?" "Damn global warming." |
September 19, 2026 Update: I voted for the caption from West Hollywood.
September 27, 2026 Update: The Winner
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In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1002 from the issue of August 17, 2026, four monkeys sing in a barbershop quartet while two laboratory workers observe them through glass. The older woman speaks. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Benjamin Schwartz.
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| "So you found them at the bottom of the barrel?" |
These captions were not in tune:
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| "They're swell. You and I are no longer in harmony." "Run your next project by me first." "Great job. We've been defunded." |
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In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1001 from the issue of August 10, 2026, four snails sit around a campfire at night. One holds a flashlight to his horrified face and speaks. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Lynn Hsu.
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| "With horror I realized I had wandered into a convention of French chefs." |
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| "His white whale was a blonde ale." "It was then that I realized I couldn't outrun the man with the saltshaker." "When I arrived in Margaritaville, my nemesis was searching for his lost shaker of salt." |
August 26, 2026 Update: The Finalists
September 3, 2026 Update: I voted for the caption from beautiful downtown Burbank.
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We finally made it to The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1000! It is from the issue of August 3, 2026, two men look upon a stone in which many swords are buried nearly up to their hilts. The man holding a staff speaks. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Lars Kenseth.
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| "None of them will make you the Burger King." |
August 16, 2026 Update: The Finalists
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In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #999 from the issue of July 27, 2026, a couple seated in their living room look up at a giant hole in the wall through which an elephant has just run out. The man speaks. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Tom Toro.
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| "Enough with the dad jokes." |
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| "Now what do we avoid talking about?" |
August 9, 2026 Update: The Finalists
August 16, 2026 Update: I voted for the caption from Seattle.
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In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #998 from the issue of July 20, 2026, a woman and a cat are out kayaking. The woman speaks. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Liza Donnelly.
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| "There must be a closer litter box." |
August 2, 2026 Update: The Finalists
August 9, 2026 Update: I voted for the caption from North Arlington.
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In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #997 from the double issue of July 6 & 13, 2026, a subway train in an outdoor station bends upwards and out of view. A man wearing a baseball cap speaks to a woman on the platform, indicating the train with his thumb. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Olivia Noble. Her work is new to the caption contest and the blog.
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| "That's not our train. It's for the upwardly mobile." |
These captions were on the wrong track:
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| "It's the uptown express." "It's the latest from SpaceX." "Metal fatigue." |
July 26, 2026 Update: The Finalists
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In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #996 from the issue of June 29, 2026, two upright frankfurters standing on two legs watch a third upright frankfurter walking a small frank on all fours secured by a leash. All the hot dogs have buns. The one standing on the right is speaking. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Lonnie Millsap.
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| "Don't you just want to pinch those little buns?" |
These captions weren't ready for the grill:
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| "We raised ours free-range." "We never used a dog walker." |
July 19, 2026 Update: The Finalists
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In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #995 from the issue of June 22, 2026, a tortoise whose shell is decked out as a soccer ball also bears a satellite dish. He talks excitedly with another tortoise wearing no special sporting garb. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Felipe Galindo (Feggo).
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| "The World Cup has taught me that I'm still just a Knicks fan." |
These captions were at risk for a yellow card:
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| "I've got incredible reception! Now I'm all set for the match with the hares." "Guess what sport I'll be watching." |
July 4, 2026 Update: The Finalists
July 19, 2026 Update: I voted for the caption from LA.
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In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #994 from the issue of June 15, 2026, a harried man has just checked out from a grocery store, loaded down with an impossible amount of produce from his knees up to the ceiling. The cashier holds out his register receipt and speaks. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Colin Tom.
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| "Was that your gray Prius they just towed?" |
These captions didn't check out:
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| "Would you like to check my work?" "Were those your car keys in Aisle 4?" "Our best customers like to use the wagons." |
June 27, 2026 Update: The Finalists
July 4, 2026 Update: I voted for the caption from Hathaway Pines.
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