In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #983 from the issue of March 23, 2026, a poppy seed bagel lies on a psychotherapist's couch and talks to his doctor, a bagel with caraway seeds. The patient speaks. My submission is below. The drawing is by Elisabeth McNair.
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| "I would thrive in the workplace but I can't pass a drug test." |
April 2, 2026 Update: The Finalists
April 12, 2026 Update: I voted for the caption from Montclair.
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In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #926 from the issue of December 16, 2024, we visit a standup comedy club. A tomato is onstage at the microphone while a broccoli stalk and a carrot are seated up front. The carrot speaks. The drawing is by Elisabeth McNair. |
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| "We're leaving at the first bent carrot joke." |
These captions were not USDA approved:
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| "I thought his humor would be too raw." "I might enjoy this if I were stewed." "He's funny, but there isn't any meat there." "Let's throw some nightshade." "He's looking at us. Don't turn red." |
January 11, 2025 Update: The Finalists
04826
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| "And bring some ice please. Mine's melting." |
This caption was too unworldly:
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| "Keep 'em coming. I'm building up a tolerance to toxins." |
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| "We don't have any toastmasters' meeting." |
