In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1002 from the issue of August 17, 2026, four monkeys sing in a barbershop quartet while two laboratory workers observe them through glass. The older woman speaks. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Benjamin Schwartz.
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| "So you found them at the bottom of the barrel?" |
These captions were not in tune:
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| "They're swell. You and I are no longer in harmony." "Run your next project by me first." "Great job. We've been defunded." |
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In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1001 from the issue of August 10, 2026, four snails sit around a campfire at night. One holds a flashlight to his face and speaks. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Lynn Hsu.
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| "With horror I realized I had wandered into a convention of French chefs." |
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| "His white whale was a blonde ale." "It was then that I realized I couldn't outrun the man with the saltshaker." "When I arrived in Margaritaville, my nemesis was searching for his lost shaker of salt." |
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We finally made it to The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #1000! It is from the issue of August 3, 2026, two men look upon a stone in which many swords are buried nearly up to their hilts. The man holding a staff speaks. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Lars Kenseth.
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| "None of them will make you the Burger King." |
August 16, 2026 Update: The Finalists
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In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #999 from the issue of July 27, 2026, a couple seated in their living room look up at a giant hole in the wall through which an elephant has just run out. The man speaks. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Tom Toro.
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| "Enough with the dad jokes." |
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| "Now what do we avoid talking about?" |
August 9, 2026 Update: The Finalists
August 16, 2026 Update: I voted for the caption from Seattle.
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In the CartoonStock Caption Contest number 208, is set at one of those Mommy and Me swim lessons. The male child speaks. The cartoonist is Lindsey Budde. She is new to the contest and new to this blog.
The monthly cash prize contest has new rules: Five dollars will still buy up to three entries but now three additional dollars optionally can buy a fourth entry, and so forth and so on. Real cash prizes are fifty percent of the total prize pool (previously $500) for first place and ten percent of the prize pool (previously $100) for each of five runners up. As of this writing, I've put $265 into the first fifty-three pay-to-play contests and this fifty-fourth challenge brings my total cash outlay up to $270. Having achieved runner-up status with three previous cash prize entries, I've collected $300 from CartoonStock, so I'm still playing with the house's money, at least for the time being. Because the contest is no longer subsidized by cash from the vast coffers of CartoonStock, the contest's odds should now be just a little less favorable. The prize pool, as I prepared to enter two hours before the contest ended, was approaching the old thousand dollar level.
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| "Guess how I'm warming up the pool." "I'll let you look in my swim trunks for Nemo." "Great news! We'll be sharing a locker room." |
The final prize pool tally:
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In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #998 from the issue of July 20, 2026, a woman and a cat are out kayaking. The woman speaks. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Liza Donnelly.
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| "There must be a closer litter box." |
August 2, 2026 Update: The Finalists
August 9, 2026 Update: I voted for the caption from North Arlington.
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In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #997 from the double issue of July 6 & 13, 2026, a subway train in an outdoor station bends upwards and out of view. A man wearing a baseball cap speaks to a woman on the platform, indicating the train with his thumb. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Olivia Noble. Her work is new to the caption contest and the blog.
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| "That's not our train. It's for the upwardly mobile." |
These captions were on the wrong track:
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| "It's the uptown express." "It's the latest from SpaceX." "Metal fatigue." |
July 26, 2026 Update: The Finalists
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In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #996 from the issue of June 29, 2026, two upright frankfurters standing on two legs watch a third upright frankfurter walking a small frank on all fours secured by a leash. All the hot dogs have buns. The one standing on the right is speaking. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Lonnie Millsap.
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| "Don't you just want to pinch those little buns?" |
These captions weren't ready for the grill:
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| "We raised ours free-range." "We never used a dog walker." |
July 19, 2026 Update: The Finalists
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In the CartoonStock Caption Contest number 207, two fish are sitting in a bar. The bartender takes a phone call and looks at them. The fish nearer the bartender speaks. The cartoonist is Tim Hamilton.
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| The prize pool on June 22 at the 10:00 PM hour |
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| "Can't you see I'm a fish out of lager?" "Say we had to go back to the Hudson." "Just tell them some fish story." * * * "Hey, bartender, do you serve fish here?" "We're not taking calls from fishmongers." |
July 4, 2026 Update: The Winner
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In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #995 from the issue of June 22, 2026, a tortoise whose shell is decked out as a soccer ball also bears a satellite dish. He talks excitedly with another tortoise wearing no special sporting garb. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Felipe Galindo (Feggo).
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| "The World Cup has taught me that I'm still just a Knicks fan." |
These captions were at risk for a yellow card:
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| "I've got incredible reception! Now I'm all set for the match with the hares." "Guess what sport I'll be watching." |
July 4, 2026 Update: The Finalists
July 19, 2026 Update: I voted for the caption from LA.
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In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #994 from the issue of June 15, 2026, a harried man has just checked out from a grocery store, loaded down with an impossible amount of produce from his knees up to the ceiling. The cashier holds out his register receipt and speaks. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Colin Tom.
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| "Was that your gray Prius they just towed?" |
These captions didn't check out:
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| "Would you like to check my work?" "Were those your car keys in Aisle 4?" "Our best customers like to use the wagons." |
June 27, 2026 Update: The Finalists
July 4, 2026 Update: I voted for the caption from Hathaway Pines.
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In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #993 from the issue of June 8, 2026, three pigs are seated at a trough in a restaurant looking at the menus. The one on the left is speaking. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Avi Steinberg.
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| "Could you explain for my brothers the advantages of having a brick oven?" |
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| "Is the slop fresh?" "I don't suppose the catch of the day is wolf?" "It appears the house specialty is bacon." |
June 21, 2026 Update: The Finalists
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In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #992 from the issue of June 1, 2026, two rats stand outside of a laboratory maze. The rat who is speaking opens a jewelry case to reveal an engagement ring. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Benjamin Slyngstad, whose work is new to me.
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| "It's lab-grown." |
This one was a little too twee:
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| "Let's try our own experiment." |
June 13, 2016 Update: The Finalists
June 21, 2026 Update: I voted for the caption from Wicklow.
June 27, 2026 Update: The Winner
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