My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #996

In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #996 from the issue of June 29, 2026, two upright frankfurters standing on two legs watch a third upright frankfurter walking a small frank on all fours secured by a leash. All the hot dogs have buns. The one standing on the right is speaking. My submission is shown below. The drawing is by Lonnie Millsap.

"Don't you just want to pinch those little buns?"

These captions weren't ready for the grill:

"We raised ours free-range."
"We never used a dog walker."

July 19, 2026 Update:  The Finalists

July 26, 2026 Update:  I voted for the caption from Toronto.

 
August 2, 2026 Update:  The Winner

05284

My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #950

In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #950 from the issue of June 30, 2025, a hot dog in a clothing store tries on a small bun for size. The saleswoman speaks. My entry appears below. The drawing is by Dan Misdea.

"Not everyone can pull off a man bun."

July 19, 2025 Update:  The Finalists

July 26, 2025 Update:  I voted for the caption from Vancouver.

August 1, 2025 Update:  The Winner

04987

The CartoonStock Cartoon Caption Contest No. 194

In the CartoonStock Caption Contest number 194, we find two frankfurters being heated on a hot dog Ferris wheel. The smaller, shriveled hot dog is speaking.

The rules of the monthly cash prize contest have not changed (and neither has my description of them): Five dollars buys up to three entries. Real cash prizes are $500 for first place and $100 for each of five runners up. As of this writing, I've put $195 into the first thirty-nine pay-to-play contests and this fortieth challenge brings my total cash outlay up to $200. Having achieved runner-up status with three previous entries, including the most recent contest, I've collected $300 from CartoonStock, so I'm still playing with the house's money. In fact, so few contestants enter that the odds may generally be considered favorable even for us less-gifted caption writers. My three entries are shown below, above the break and, yes, I went there. The cartoonist is Mike Shiell who is new to me and thus new to the blog.

"Do you think I WANT to be chosen?"
"What's your secret, Cialis or Viagra?"
"I had to retire from porn."
* * *
"Worst amusement park ride ever."
"Do you know a better survival strategy?"
"My friends who hydrated are all gone."
"May I call you Little Indian?"
"I thought I got on a Ferris wheel."

July 2, 2025 Update:  The Winner

The Judges Deliberate

Video added June 29, 2025

At 19:30 in the video, Lawrence Wood admires my first caption very briefly. He later mentions it in his caption contest commentary:

Image added June 29, 2025

https://www.cartoonstock.com/blog/hot-dogs-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood/

04981

My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #763

I worked up quite an appetite over The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #763 from the issue of July 12 & 19, 2021. My caption, shown below, came to me in just a few minutes on the first day of the contest. The drawing is by Michael Maslin.

"You're getting low on grease."

August 1, 2021 Update:  The Finalists

August 8, 2021 Update:  I voted with Wyckoff, going for the caption closest to my own, sort of. Sorry, Paul.

August 10, 2021 Update:  The Winner

03692