My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #893

A small plot of real estate is on the market in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #893 from the issue of April 15, 2024. My caption is shown below. The drawing is by Drew Panckeri.

"The seller is hitting puberty."

These captions weren't allowed into the club:

"You folks strike me as outdoorsy."
"It's perfect for your inner child."
"You did say you were on a budget."
"It's an opportunity to get back in shape."
"Are you planning to have children?"
"It's great for a summer home."
"The seller is keeping the comic books."

May 5, 2024 Update:  The Finalists

May 12, 2024 Update:  I voted for the caption from Cincinnati.

May 15, 2024 Update:  The Winner

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The CartoonStock Cartoon Caption Contest No. 173

I'm not entirely sure what's going on in the CartoonStock Caption Contest #173, but in many ways it looks like just another day at the office. There's a man sitting at a laptop in his cubicle talking to a female coworker while in the background the imposing landscape burns as if consumed by the fires of hell. The rules of the monthly cash prize contest are the same: five dollars buys up to three entries. Real cash prizes are $500 for first place and $100 for each of five runners up. As of this writing, I've put $90 into the first eighteen pay-to-play contests and this nineteenth one brings my total cash outlay up to $95. After two previous runner-up entries, I've collected $200, so I'm still doing very well. In fact, so few contestants enter that the odds are generally quite favorable for all. My three entries are shown below. The cool cartoonist is Drew Panckeri.

"Even so, it beats telemarketing."
"Before I get up, are you wearing anything today?"
"What I really can't take is that calendar."

November 23, 2023 Update:  The Winner

The Judges Deliberate

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #702

Just in time for the closing of all the hair salons and barber shops in New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, and Pennsylvania in order to mitigate the spread of COVID-19, I humbly present my entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #702 for March 23, 2020. The drawing is by Drew Panckeri.

"Don't take anything off the top."

These captions were a cut or two below the rest:

"Do you clip wings?"
"How did you know I live alone."
"Are you experiencing any symptoms of bird flu?"
"Relax. I just want a shave."
"Can your sink double as a bird bath?"

March 30, 2020 Update:  The Finalists

April 6, 2020 Update:  I voted with LA.



April 13, 2020 Update:  The Winner

Note:  In last week's Caption Contest, cartoonist Mort Gerberg took us to a restaurant where a mouse was ordering from the menu. I just couldn't "eek" out a good caption. (Ouch!) Still, if you would just help me climb down off the chair, then we can both take a deep breath and enjoy Contest #701. 

Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives

Drew Panckeri

Barbers

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest

The Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest

The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest

All the Above Cartoon Caption Contests and Even Something More

Attempted Bloggery's Well-Groomed Index

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The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #59

Three angels up in heaven are seen smoking and drinking in the Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #59. But are they angels? They don't have wings or halos. Perhaps that should have informed my approach, but it didn't. My three entries—and a couple more—are below.The drawing is by Drew Panckeri.

"Here comes Mr. High and Mighty."
"Did you know they have a vice squad?"
"I guess I was expecting something more."
"Hey! Why don't we get any ambrosia?"
"These vices are no fun without sex."

January 29, 2020 Update: The Winner

Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives:


Drew Panckeri

Angels

The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest

The Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest

All These Cartoon Caption Contests Together

Attempted Bloggery's Heavenly Index

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The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #50

A snowman army is the subject of the Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #50 according to the filename on the cartoon image. I'd call it more of a snowman royal court. I came up with only two captions this week, making it unnecessary for me to try to subvert the three-caption limit. The drawing is by Drew Panckeri.

"We can't receive any hotmail."
"I'm counting on you to deliver my robot army by spring."

November 27, 2019 Update:  The Winner

Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives:

Drew Panckeri

Snowmen

The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest

The Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest

All These Cartoon Caption Contests and Then Some

Attempted Bloggery's Densely-Packed Index

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The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #46

Shark therapy is the subject of the Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #46. I submitted four captions. The drawing is by Drew Panckeri.

"You're gonna need a bigger couch."
"The producers of Shark Week won't return my calls."
"No one wants to be my chum."
"Everyone on the beach laughed at my fin."

October 30, 2019 Update:  The Winner

Seven-time New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest winner Lawrence Wood mentioned two of my captions in his commentary on the shark therapy contest. Is that like getting two honorable mentions?

Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives:

Drew Panckeri

Sharks

The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest

The Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest

All These Cartoon Caption Contests and More

Attempted Bloggery's Jawesome Index

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The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #42

The downloadable image for the Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #42 contains the string warnedaboutsplashing, which suggests that Drew Panckeri's original caption is something like "Didn't I warn you about splashing?" That's pretty good. Here's what I was able to came up with:

"Now for a spell I once cast on Tom Brady's footballs."
"Didn't I say at lunch to wait an hour before swimming?"
"I have a rule against skinny dipping."
"It's for your safety. I just turned the lifeguard into a frog."
"I'll turn you back for a nice chunk of your pension fund."
"I see the swimming charm doesn't work without a wand."
"Next time I'll look up the correct floating charm."

October 4, 2019 Update:  The Winner

In his analysis of the contest, seven-time New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest winner Lawrence Wood mentions one of my entries and why it doesn't quite fit:

Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives:

Drew Panckeri

Witches

Swimming Pools

The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest

The Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest

All These Cartoon Caption Contests and More

Attempted Bloggery's Dog Paddling Index

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #663

Grab a slice of my entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #663 for May 20, 2019. The drawing is by Drew Panckeri.

"There's your mistake:  it's a piazza."

These captions seemed to have the wrong sauce:      

"I'm afraid we've stepped on your pie."
"Are one of you finally going to take our order?"

May 27, 2019 Update:  The Finalists




June 3, 2019 Update:  I voted with Guelph, and not just because of the connection to Seth.

June 17, 2019 Update:  The Winner

Note:  Last week cartoonist John Klossner invited us to a Viking wedding. Grab your ceremonial helmet and visit Contest #662.

Quick Links to the Attempted Bloggery Archives:

Drew Panckeri

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest

The Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest

The Cartoon Collections Caption Contest

All the Above Cartoon Caption Contests and More

Attempted Bloggery's Index with Extra Toppings

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #600

Defy gravity with my entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #600 for January 15, 2018. The drawing is by Drew Panckeri.

"Whose turn is it to take him for a spacewalk?"

January 22, 2018 Update:  The Finalists

January 29, 2018 Update:  I voted for the first caption, which is unusual in that the second one is closer to my own.

February 5, 2018 Update:  Winning Caption

Note:  Last week, cartoonist Michael Maslin's caveman cartoon had some bite to it, but my caption proved toothless. Travel way back in time to Contest #599.

Drew Panckeri is new to this blog. There's a first time for everything, Drew.

Attempted Bloggery supports net neutrality.

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