In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #970 from the issue of December 1, 2025, the setting is a library (or maybe a bookstore). A librarian with a cart is talking to a woman in the Psychology section while they look at the Grim Reaper browsing nearby in the Self-Help section. The librarian speaks. My entry appears below. The drawing is by Hilary Fitzgerald Campbell.
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"I'll start wheezing and lead him to the travel section."
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These captions needed to be shelved:
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"Why shouldn't he want to work more efficiently?" "He'll never find anything to replace chess." "I wouldn't mind some new life goals." "He should be working on his people skills."
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December 20, 2025 Update: The Finalists
December 22, 2025 Update: I voted for the caption from Burlington.
January 10, 2026 Update: The Winner