In the CartoonStock Caption Contest number 201, a man crawling through the desert comes upon a salesman with three water bottles—small, medium, and large—on a stand. The salesman speaks. The cartoonist is the enterprising P. C. Vey.
The rules of the monthly cash prize contest have not changed: Five dollars buys up to three entries. Real cash prizes are $500 for first place and $100 for each of five runners up. As of this writing, I've put $230 into the first forty-six pay-to-play contests and this forty-seventh challenge brings my total cash outlay up to $235. Having achieved runner-up status with three previous entries, I've collected $300 from CartoonStock, so I'm playing with the house's money, thank you very much. In fact, so few contestants enter that the odds may generally be considered favorable even for less-gifted caption writers. My three entries this round are shown below, above the break.
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| "Have as much as you want. It's a mirage." "This one costs a little more because it's vodka." "Me? I got here on a horse with no name." * * * "Sorry, I don't follow the rules of perspective." "Would you like to see the best value in Death Valley?" "Anything you don't finish here you can roll home." "What I really wanted was the Sea World concession." "Say, can you give me a lift home?" "By the way, nothing on credit." "Who'll start the bidding at $1,000?" "I'm not in it for the money. I do it for the schadenfreude." "If you have to ask, you can't afford it." |
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