In The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #983 from the issue of March 23, 2026, a poppy seed bagel lies on a psychotherapist's couch and talks to his doctor, a bagel with caraway seeds. The patient speaks. My submission is below. The drawing is by Elisabeth McNair.
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| "I would thrive in the workplace but I can't pass a drug test." |
April 2, 2026 Update: The Finalists
April 12, 2026 Update: I voted for the caption from Montclair.
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