Saturday, July 30, 2016

My Entry in the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #530

Here is my entry in the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #530 for July 25, 2016. The drawing is by Peter Kuper.

"So that's one steel helmet, one heavy-duty lapboard, and
all the Xanax in the kingdom."

Note: Last week, cartoonist David Sipress defied gravity. My caption defied logic. Climb aboard for Contest #529.

Speaking of Peter Kuper, see what happens when I entered this very caption contest of his by accident.


Friday, July 29, 2016

Touring the Guinness Storehouse

The Guinness Storehouse tour celebrates the history of the classic brew. An exhibition demonstrates the ingredients that go into Guinness. Classic factory equipment is on display. There is a also a survey of old promotions and a tutorial on tasting. The tour concludes with—what else?—a complimentary pint.

Brewing on the horizon
This way to the Guinness Storehouse

While the public is directed to the Guinness Storehouse, the rest of the plant remains active.

Guinness, St. James's Gate Brewery, Dublin
Water is a key ingredient. You knew that.

Old equipment, spotlit
Guinness tasting

All aboard!

Old technology

New technology
Guinness Fish

Scale model of the Guinness Festival Clock

The reward. I have got to learn to take the picture before I start drinking.

The toucans make a special delivery.

Note:  My only mistake? Two beers on no sleep. My plan for the rest of the trip? A Guinness a day!

Attempted Bloggery's quick links:

Jack Davis (1924-2016)

Attempted Bloggery, like Guinness, is good for you. Just take a look at the blog index!


Thursday, July 28, 2016

Lunch at the Brazen Head

Founded in 1198, the Brazen Head is Ireland's oldest pub, and it's where I had my first meal after arriving in the country. I also had my first beer of the trip there, perhaps not the brightest idea after a sleepless night of transatlantic travel.

The Brazen Head, Ireland's oldest pub, founded in 1198

A pint of Kilkenny, a remarkably smooth brew

Grilled fillet of salmon showing the colors of the Irish flag

Wherever I go, something reminds me of home.

Display barrel

Note:  That Kilkenny's was not my final beer of the day. Check tomorrow's post to see what I drank next. I bet you can guess already.

Attempted Bloggery's quick links:

Jack Davis (1924-2016)

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Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Graham Knuttel at the Hotel Louis Fitzgerald

The Hotel Louis Fitzgerald is located on the outskirts of Dublin. The lobby is decorated with a number of paintings by Graham Knuttel distinctive for their graphic political content. Some of these depict the Taoisigh, or Irish prime ministers, and the hotel's conference rooms are named after these politicians as well. These paintings and others display a striking use of color and convey a keen sense of distrust. They've got some wicked Irish flavor but they're hardly your typical hotel decor.


Aside from the paintings on the walls, the lobby displays a small classic car. Wolseley specialized in sheep shearing machines but also built a popular motorcar. Technology cuts both ways.
1904 Wolseley 6 Horsepower 2 Seater

You might very well expect that a blogger of my stature gets offered backstage passes to Beyoncé concerts all the time, but the sad reality is I hang out in obscure, out-of-the-way hotels and snap pictures of public transportation notices posted at garage elevators.

Note:  So began my six-day trip to Ireland earlier this month. To be continued...

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George Grosz
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Tuesday, July 26, 2016

License Plate for the Irish Landscape?

But is there a Boggy A?

New Jersey license plate

Note:  There are all sorts of interesting license plates out there. If you come across one that gets it right, feel free to remove it from the car and send it this way. Better still, just take a photo. Me, I'm going to move the blog on to Ireland tomorrow. Look for a name change to Attempted Boggery.

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License plates
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Do you know what I did on the flight home from Ireland? I finished Michael Maslin's biography of Peter Arno, that's what I did. Perhaps you'd care to read my brief book review on


Monday, July 25, 2016

License Plate to Turn On Your Light By?

Turn on your light and stay with me awhile...

North Carolina license plate

"Rock Steady," 1974
Bad Company

Note:  License plates with classic rock themes must be fairly common. Send an example this way and baby, you can drive my car.

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License plates
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Right now Joe Dator may be the only New Yorker cartoonist with a podcast about classic rock, but mark my words:  Some day every cartoonist will have one.

Even when I'm blogging about license plates, I am thinking about New Yorker cartoons. For example, I just published a brief review on Amazon of Michael Maslin's recent biography of Peter Arno.


Sunday, July 24, 2016

Repeated Random Caption Contest Blues

You've seen the warning. Are you sure you want to resubmit this form. What form? Where? Sometimes you're in a browser you haven't seen for months open to an unknown page. For some reason you click yes. What could happen? Then you realize what you did. Your caption for Contest #519 by Tom Toro is inadvertently submitted to Contest #530 by Peter Kuper.  Oops.

In the Hollywood screenplay version of my life, when I commit a serious error like this, serendipity abounds. Unanticipated shades of meaning turn a mediocre caption from one contest into a sublimely-nuanced triple entendre in another and I am happily swept into finalist status for the first time. The whole town joins in my celebration. Restaurants offer me free champagne brunches and "Hamilton's" producers ask how many tickets they can send me.

The reality though is a bit different. The old caption, barely serviceable in the earlier contest, is utterly senseless in the new one. Simply put, this is not how the screenplay is supposed to go. Get me Rewrite!

Note:  Remember, only you can prevent Caption Contest mishaps.

This is Peter Kuper's first appearance on the blog. Sorry, Peter. It was all one big mistake.

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Cartoon Caption Contests
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Saturday, July 23, 2016

My Entry in the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #529

Here is my entry in the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #529 for July 11, 2016. The drawing is by David Sipress.

"This is where we'll put the rock wall."

July 25, 2016 Update:  The Finalists

Note:  Last week, Drew Dernavich went rogue with the T-square. My caption was way off kilter. You just may find yourself sliding into Contest #528.

See my previous blog posts to learn more about how David Sipress has been taking his art to new heights.


Friday, July 22, 2016

License Plate for Someone with a Sweet Tooth?

Here's something to chew on:

New York State license plate

Note:  Why not send me photos of other wholesome license plates?

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License plates
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Thursday, July 21, 2016

License Plate for a He-Man's Partner?

How many women would choose this vanity plate?

New York State license plate

Note:  If you like, send along photos of witty license plates.

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License plates
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