Sunday, July 31, 2016

My Entries in the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest for May/June 2016

The Moment Cartoon Caption Contest allows multiple entries, which are left as comments on their website or Facebook page. I submitted a total of four in the May/June 2016 contest. The subject, as you can see, is Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, but careful scrutiny reveals there's a hot dog vendor intruding on the familiar story. I'm more than happy with my captions, particularly the last one—although I understand why Moment might prefer not to publish it. Anyway, none of these made it to finalist status this time around. The drawing is by Benjamin Schwartz.

"I call him Lying Nathan!"
"He shows up every fall."
"He gets a full chapter in the Apocrypha."
"Eat the apple and you'll understand wiener jokes."


The Finalists:
Moment Cartoon Caption Contest Finalists for May/June 2016




September 20, 2016 Update:  Winning Caption


Note:  It's official: I am now a three-year veteran of the Moment Cartoon Caption Contest. Why, yes, I'd be happy to recite the statistics for you. Of the eighteen Moment caption contests I've entered, my caption has made it to finalist status in fourteen of which I've won five. What's most important here is that I've fulfilled and surpassed the Mankoff Prophecy.

You may be aware that I enter a fair number of these cartoon caption contests, especially for the New Yorker and Moment. The Moment contest has been the successful one for me. It's all in the archives.

See my previous posts about that original cartoonist and original sinner Benjamin Schwartz.

You can vote for a finalist in the current contest here. If summer reading is your thing, why not enter the July/August contest? Your participation will help make the contest a better one. Then, if you're truly obsessive, you can blog about the experience...

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Saturday, July 30, 2016

My Entry in the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #530

Here is my entry in the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #530 for July 25, 2016. The drawing is by Peter Kuper.


"So that's one steel helmet, one heavy-duty lapboard, and
all the Xanax in the kingdom."




August 1, 2016 Update:  The Finalists





August 22, 2016 Update: Winning Caption


Note: Last week, cartoonist David Sipress defied gravity. My caption defied logic. Climb aboard for Contest #529.

Speaking of Peter Kuper, see what happens when I entered this very caption contest of his by accident.

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Friday, July 29, 2016

Touring the Guinness Storehouse

The Guinness Storehouse tour celebrates the history of the classic brew. An exhibition demonstrates the ingredients that go into Guinness. Classic factory equipment is on display. There is a also a survey of old promotions and a tutorial on tasting. The tour concludes with—what else?—a complimentary pint.

Brewing on the horizon
This way to the Guinness Storehouse

While the public is directed to the Guinness Storehouse, the rest of the plant remains active.

Guinness, St. James's Gate Brewery, Dublin
Water is a key ingredient. You knew that.

Old equipment, spotlit
Guinness tasting

All aboard!

Old technology

New technology
Guinness Fish

Scale model of the Guinness Festival Clock

The reward. I have got to learn to take the picture before I start drinking.

The toucans make a special delivery.


Note:  My only mistake? Two beers on no sleep. My plan for the rest of the trip? A Guinness a day!

Attempted Bloggery's quick links:

Jack Davis (1924-2016)

Ireland
Attempted Bloggery, like Guinness, is good for you. Just take a look at the blog index!

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Thursday, July 28, 2016

Lunch at the Brazen Head

Founded in 1198, the Brazen Head is Ireland's oldest pub, and it's where I had my first meal after arriving in the country. I also had my first beer of the trip there, perhaps not the brightest idea after a sleepless night of transatlantic travel.

The Brazen Head, Ireland's oldest pub, founded in 1198

A pint of Kilkenny, a remarkably smooth brew

Grilled fillet of salmon showing the colors of the Irish flag

Wherever I go, something reminds me of home.

Display barrel


Note:  That Kilkenny's was not my final beer of the day. Check tomorrow's post to see what I drank next. I bet you can guess already.

Attempted Bloggery's quick links:

Jack Davis (1924-2016)

Ireland
Attempted Bloggery's worldly index

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Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Graham Knuttel at the Hotel Louis Fitzgerald

The Hotel Louis Fitzgerald is located on the outskirts of Dublin. The lobby is decorated with a number of paintings by Graham Knuttel distinctive for their graphic political content. Some of these depict the Taoisigh, or Irish prime ministers, and the hotel's conference rooms are named after these politicians as well. These paintings and others display a striking use of color and convey a keen sense of distrust. They've got some wicked Irish flavor but they're hardly your typical hotel decor.





Detail


Aside from the paintings on the walls, the lobby displays a small classic car. Wolseley specialized in sheep shearing machines but also built a popular motorcar. Technology cuts both ways.
1904 Wolseley 6 Horsepower 2 Seater




You might very well expect that a blogger of my stature gets offered backstage passes to Beyoncé concerts all the time, but the sad reality is I hang out in obscure, out-of-the-way hotels and snap pictures of public transportation notices posted at garage elevators.
Beyoncé



Note:  So began my six-day trip to Ireland earlier this month. To be continued...

Quick links to this blog:

George Grosz
Attempted Bloggery's politically savvy index

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Tuesday, July 26, 2016

License Plate for the Irish Landscape?

But is there a Boggy A?

"BOGGY B"
New Jersey license plate



Note:  There are all sorts of interesting license plates out there. If you come across one that gets it right, feel free to remove it from the car and send it this way. Better still, just take a photo. Me, I'm going to move the blog on to Ireland tomorrow. Look for a name change to Attempted Boggery.

Quick links to this blog:

License plates
Attempted Bloggery's politically incorrect index

Do you know what I did on the flight home from Ireland? I finished Michael Maslin's biography of Peter Arno, that's what I did. Perhaps you'd care to read my brief book review on Amazon.com.

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Monday, July 25, 2016

License Plate to Turn On Your Light By?

Turn on your light and stay with me awhile...

"ROCSTDY"
North Carolina license plate


"Rock Steady," 1974
Bad Company



Note:  License plates with classic rock themes must be fairly common. Send an example this way and baby, you can drive my car.

Quick links to this blog:

License plates
Attempted Bloggery's nonpartisan index

Right now Joe Dator may be the only New Yorker cartoonist with a podcast about classic rock, but mark my words:  Some day every cartoonist will have one.

Even when I'm blogging about license plates, I am thinking about New Yorker cartoons. For example, I just published a brief review on Amazon of Michael Maslin's recent biography of Peter Arno.

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Sunday, July 24, 2016

Repeated Random Caption Contest Blues

You've seen the warning. Are you sure you want to resubmit this form. What form? Where? Sometimes you're in a browser you haven't seen for months open to an unknown page. For some reason you click yes. What could happen? Then you realize what you did. Your caption for Contest #519 by Tom Toro is inadvertently submitted to Contest #530 by Peter Kuper.  Oops.

In the Hollywood screenplay version of my life, when I commit a serious error like this, serendipity abounds. Unanticipated shades of meaning turn a mediocre caption from one contest into a sublimely-nuanced triple entendre in another and I am happily swept into finalist status for the first time. The whole town joins in my celebration. Restaurants offer me free champagne brunches and "Hamilton's" producers ask how many tickets they should send me.

The reality though is a bit different. The old caption, barely serviceable in the earlier contest, is utterly senseless in the new one. Simply put, this is not how the screenplay is supposed to go. Get me Rewrite!




Note:  Remember, only you can prevent Caption Contest mishaps.

This is Peter Kuper's first appearance on the blog. Sorry, Peter. It was all one big mistake.

Quick links to this blog:

Cartoon Caption Contests
Attempted Bloggery's serendipitous index

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Saturday, July 23, 2016

My Entry in the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #529

Here is my entry in the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #529 for July 11, 2016. The drawing is by David Sipress.


"This is where we'll put the rock wall."



July 25, 2016 Update:  The Finalists




August 1, 2016 Update:  I voted for the third caption.


August 21, 2016 Update:  Winning Caption





Note:  Last week, Drew Dernavich went rogue with the T-square. My caption was way off kilter. You just may find yourself sliding into Contest #528.

See my previous blog posts to learn more about how David Sipress has been taking his art to new heights.

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Friday, July 22, 2016

License Plate for Someone with a Sweet Tooth?

Here's something to chew on:

"JCYFRUIT"
New York State license plate


Note:  Why not send me photos of other wholesome license plates?

Quick links to this blog:

License plates
Attempted Bloggery's tasty index

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Thursday, July 21, 2016

License Plate for a He-Man's Partner?

How many women would choose this vanity plate?

"SHE BABE"
New York State license plate


Note:  If you like, send along photos of witty license plates.

Quick links to this blog:

License plates
Attempted Bloggery's sexy index

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Wednesday, July 20, 2016

License Plate for an Evil Genius?

I spotted this criminally brilliant license plate on Park Avenue.

"LEX CORP"
New York State license plate


Note:  Vanity plates are everywhere. Write if you have photos of clever or unusual license plates to share here.

Quick links to this blog:

License plates
Attempted Bloggery's super index

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Tuesday, July 19, 2016

License Plate for Tinkerbell?

Do you believe in fairies?
—J. M. Barrie

"PIX1E"
New Jersey license plate



Note:  I'm always happy to receive photos of creative license plates.

Quick links to this blog:

License plates
Attempted Bloggery's magical index

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Monday, July 18, 2016

License Plate for the O'Jays?

Just as long as it's groovin'...

"LUVMSIC"
Virginia license plate


"I Love Music" (1975)
The O'Jays


Note:  Feel free to forward photos of creative license plates.


New Yorker cartoonist Michael Crawford passed away last week. See Ink Spill's appreciation here
and a cartoonists' remembrance.

Quick links to this blog:

These New Yorker cartoonists passed away since the time I started writing this blog and all of them have been written about here.
Michael Crawford (1941-2016)

Anatol Kovarsky (1919-2016)

Frank Modell (1917-2016)

William Hamilton (1939-2016)

Joseph Farris (1924-2015)

Charles Barsotti (1933-2014)

Ed Fisher (1926-2013)

Ronald Searle (1920-2011)


More license plates

Attempted Bloggery's uber index

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Sunday, July 17, 2016

License Plate That's a Breed Apart?

This dog fancier's car was spotted at the mall:

"PUG TAXI"
New York State license plate



Note:  As always, I would be happy to receive your photos of any creative license plates.


New Yorker cartoonist Michael Crawford passed away last week. See Ink Spill's appreciation here
 and a cartoonists' remembrance.

Quick links to this blog:

These cartoonists for the New Yorker passed away since the time I started writing this blog and all of them have been covered here. Needless to say, it's been an especially rough year:

Michael Crawford (1941-2016)

Anatol Kovarsky (1919-2016)

Frank Modell (1917-2016)

William Hamilton (1939-2016)

Joseph Farris (1924-2015)

Charles Barsotti (1933-2014)

Ed Fisher (1926-2013)

Ronald Searle (1920-2011)


More license plates

Attempted Bloggery's uber index

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Saturday, July 16, 2016

My Entry in the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #528

Here is my entry in the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #528 for July 4, 2016. The drawing is by Drew Dernavich.

"It seems the builder didn't level with us."




July 18, 2016 Update:  The Finalists




August 1, 2016 Update:  Winning Caption



Note:  Last week, Harry Bliss had a close encounter of the third kind. My caption failed to phone home. You don't need to have been abducted by aliens to enjoy Contest #527.

I'm pleased to report that cartoonist Drew Dernavich is usually on the level.

Some people like to leave their contest captions in the comments. And some people just like alliteration.

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Friday, July 15, 2016

License Plate for a Climate Scientist?

Recently, I spotted this Nissan Leaf zero emission vehicle in town.

"GASL3SS"
New York State license plate


Note:  Feel free to send photos of any interesting license plates.


New Yorker cartoonist Michael Crawford passed away on Tuesday. See Ink Spill's appreciation here.

Quick links to this blog:

Michael Crawford (1941-2016)

Anatol Kovarsky (1919-2016)

Frank Modell (1917-2016)

William Hamilton (1939-2016)

Joseph Farris (1924-2015)

Charles Barsotti (1933-2014)

Ed Fisher (1926-2013)

Ronald Searle (1920-2011)


More license plates

Attempted Bloggery's exhaustive index

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